When We're Not at Our Best

I have been pondering this post's title for a long time. The above title won't leave me alone, so today is the day I will write it into existence! ;)

When we're happy and we know it we, what? Clap our hands! Just kidding. ;) But in all seriousness, when life is going well for us, we let people know it. Our happy actions include things like: smiling, sleeping well, speaking kind words, being efficient, cheerfully supporting and encouraging those around us, serving others, laughing, being generous in every sense of the word, having a happy attitude, being absolutely there for others, etc.

Yet when life isn't going well for us, we let others know our feelings too—whether we intend to do so, or not. Our sad actions might include things like: saying something we later regret, tiredness, lack of concentration, frustration, inattention, snappy responses (And I don't mean in a good way, like a snappy dresser! Ha ha.), moping about, laziness, criticism of others, stinginess, focusing on our own problems, fear of the future, etc.

I've lived both of those previously described realities. Yes, I've had so many wonderfully happy times in my life (Yay for all of them!), but most recently—when I lived in Texas—I was not at my best. Oh, no, I was not. Sidenote: I dearly wish that Texas could have experienced my best self!

For those of you who don't know our family's story, here's a smidgen of it: We've moved multiple times due to my husband's employment changes. We've happily made our choices so Greg could be the main financial provider for our family, and I could be the stay-at-home-mom I've always wanted to be. Our family has always been able to make it through our moving transitions very well. After the first six to 12 months in a new place, things have always ended up on the bright side. :)

Yet when we moved to Texas, things did not go remotely the way we had planned. Our house in Utah didn't sell, so we couldn't settle down in Texas. (We ended up renting out our house.) There are many reasons our house didn't sell, and today I am so thankful that it didn't sell (because now we are back living in our same house!), but when we were in Texas, my reality was not complete thankfulness. Plus, our house issues created financial issues. Don't get me wrong, we consciously made our choices about the house and we owned them, but it was hard. All of that said, we had many many moments of thankfulness in Texas! We were so completely blessed, I can't even begin to describe all of our blessings. But the daily underlying current in my soul—we can't sell our house, so we can't settle down—felt closer to total anguish and severe frustration.

To help illustrate my feelings, please imagine the movie, "Groundhog Day." Do you have it pictured in your mind? Good. :) Now, imagine how Phil repeatedly wakes up to the same music, in the same bed, with the same dreary view, every day—for who knows how long! Well, that was my Texas reality. Okay, I wasn't technically repeating the same day over and over like Phil, but nearly every day I awoke, I thought, "What am I still doing here??!!!!"—with no more certainty of where we were headed than the day before. Yes, not knowing where my sweet and wonderful little family was going to live for two+ years moved my soul into crazytown! I felt trapped and wondered if I would ever escape! ;) *By the by, if we wouldn't have already moved so many times (10) previously, I think I would have dealt with it much better than I did.

Again, please don't get me wrong. During those two years, I genuinely tried to be happy, helpful, courteous, kind, understanding, thoughtful, cheerful, etc. But not being able to fully live our lives the way I desired for our family was unbelievably hard. Not knowing when or where our family would finally be able to settle down was torturous. Can you tell I like to plan?! Well, I do. Yet I can make-do with any situation or circumstance. I just need a little heads-up in terms of time-frame and place. I'm very flexible, compatible, and adaptable! :)

Anyway...having me live in that frustrated state (of being, not Texas) must have been quite tedious for those souls around me. Thankfully, even though I was a mighty frustrated lady, I had many family members and friends who buoyed me up. They didn't judge me—or at least if they did, they didn't show it to me. They didn't make me feel bad. They gave me hope. They lent a listening ear. They showed patience. They tried their best to see where I was coming from—even if they didn't understand what I was experiencing. I will be forever grateful to those generous souls. They know who they are. :)

Now that I feel all better (because we are finally settled!), life is so much easier. I am happy every single day!!! Even when I have little hiccups here and there, those mini challenges are the tiniest of trials compared to where my soul was just eight months ago—before our family knew where our path was heading.

Thus, with my recent two-year experience of not being at my best (Even though I sincerely tried my best!), my plea to the inhabitants of our world is this:

• Please try your best to be understanding of others—even and especially when they're not at their best.
• Be generous with your kind thoughts, sincere prayers, good words and helpful actions.
• Don't judge others too harshly or quickly. *Even though we know we must judge some situations for our own safety/protection and for those we love.
• Be forgiving and let others move-on when they have made amends.
• Have true charity in your heart for others—including toward those souls you might not necessarily like.
• Keep your criticisms at a minimum, and only reveal them if they are truly needed and helpful.
• Don't gossip. Yet if you want to share happy thoughts or uplifting stories about others, go for it! :)
• Never forget that every soul has value and is of great worth. Treat people the way you would want to be treated. Better yet, treat others the way you would want your precious, sweet, perfect little baby to be treated. :) You see, everybody is somebody's baby...we're all children of God.

This is my phrase and typographic design! :)

Lastly, there is a beautiful scene from the movie, "Ephraim's Rescue" that really hit home to me. (Spoiler alert!) Ephraim Hanks has just healed the gangrened feet of young Thomas Dobson by giving him a priesthood blessing. After a tender moment with Thomas and his mother, Alice, Ephraim asks,

"Thomas, the spirits in the camp are low. Do you feel the strength to now lift, as you have been lifted?"

Thomas thinks about it for a minute and then shares his happy dancing talent with the members of his camp. It's evident that Thomas and the rest of the pioneers are joyfully uplifted because of his cold-feet efforts. (Thomas traveled without shoes for much of his pioneer journey! Ouch!)

I can absolutely relate to Thomas Dobson's situation. No, I wasn't exhausted and close to death with gangrened feet, but my soul was very heavy, ragged and worn out because of my family's seemingly endless uncertainty. Now that my soul is light and free again, I dearly want to lift others as I have been lifted! I am also reminded of the scripture in Luke 10:37 when, speaking of the good Samaritan's merciful efforts, Jesus says, "Go, and do thou likewise." I 100% agree! :)

A House Has Rooms

I've mentioned before that our family has lived in many different places over the past 16 years. Those places include the following residences (Please excuse my lack of proper real estate terms!):

• a one-bedroom, one-bath basement apartment (rented)
• a top-floor, two-bedroom, one-bath apartment (rented)
• a three-bedroom, two-bath, split-level house (owned)
• a three-month stint with Greg's parents in their six-bedroom, two-bath rambler
• a three-bedroom, two-bath, basement apartment (rented)
• a two-story, three-bedroom, two-and-a-half bath house (rented)
• a two-story, four-bedroom, three-and-a-half-bath house (owned)
• a two-and-a-half month stint with my mom in her two-bedroom, three-and-a-half-bath, two-story condo
• a three-bedroom, two-bath rambler (own)
• a three-bedroom, two-bath, one-floor house (rented)
• back to our three-bedroom, two-bath rambler

Now before you get all "What's wrong with them? Why have they moved so many times?!"  judgmental on me (Don't do it!), you must know that many of those moves were due to unforeseen circumstances like job layoffs. The first layoff came to my husband even though he had two bachelor's degrees! The second layoff was due to The Great Recession, when my husband was nearly finished with his MBA. Might I add that my husband is a most excellent employee and a great provider for our family. (I'm very grateful for Greg's current company!)

My point is, you just never know what life is going to throw at you—even if you are super-prepared like we were/are. One job layoff caused a domino effect, which resulted in our family moving four times! The other layoff caused us to move twice. But the other moves were choices we made, due to our desires for a larger house or a new job for Greg. With every move we made, we followed the spiritual promptings we received—which have always been spot-on. :)

Side note: I'm guessing if I were employed outside our home, we wouldn't have moved so many times. Our society seems to operate under the idea that each household needs two employed adults—which is simply not true. Thankfully, Greg and I happily decided before we were married that I would be a stay-at-home mom. Thus, with the choice we made to not have me work outside the home, we had to do what we could do to stay financially afloat. Neither Greg nor I have ever regretted our decision! :) Yes, it's been physically and emotionally hard to move so many times, but we've absolutely "made it." Yay! We are immensely satisfied that we have stayed true to our family's goal of having me stay home to raise our priceless children. *Because there's no going back, you know. Babies grow into children, who transform into teenagers, and teenagers become adults faster than you can snap your fingers! We must live in the childhood moment and cherish each day before our babies are grown and gone! :)

As Greg and I have looked back on all of our moves, we can see that every single one of them needed to happen. We learned so much from every move. For a couple of years after we moved from Colorado, I worried that the beautiful and grand house we bought there was a mistake (because it was such a hard trial!), but in hindsight I know—absolutely—that we made the right decision. We were supposed to live there, trials included!

Even though I can't believe I'm writing this (And people who know me will be shocked! Ha ha.), I am sincerely grateful for each move our family has made. I couldn't say that even eight months ago. Yet, with the way our life has settled down with this past move, I feel a happiness that cannot be adequately described! I agree with what my mom stated to me a few months ago: I feel we've learned things that we couldn't have learned any other way. I'm grateful every single day for this lovely little 70s rambler. We affectionately refer to our house as The Disco Dandy! It really is such a fitting name for this happy (old) place. :)

That said, one of my children is struggling with our current house. My child is embarrassed by the way our house looks on the outside. My child thinks our house has nothing fun to do inside or outside of it. My child doesn't want to invite friends over to our house. This fact makes me sad.

After my child expressed the above feelings, I had a frank discussion and explained (something like),

"Just because our house doesn't have two-stories, or six bedrooms, or the latest Xbox, or a basketball court, or the fanciest furniture, or designer drapes, or 12-foot ceilings, or anything else you think we should have, it doesn't mean that our house isn't worth living-in or visiting. I've learned that a house has rooms in it—no matter the size. All houses have bedrooms, bathrooms, a kitchen, a living room, a family room, etc. It doesn't matter how many rooms a house has. It doesn't matter how big those rooms are. It doesn't matter if a house has the coolest gadgets, or not. A house's decor doesn't matter.

What matters is how a house feels when you walk inside. What matters is that a house engenders peace, comfort and happiness. What matters is a house is a place where people want to stay and spend time with those they care about. 

Plus, a small house can be as nicely decorated and well-cared-for as a larger/grander house. Don't knock the small spaces! Our house is open to any of your friends at any time. Invite them over! Have fun with them! And don't feel like you can't hang out at someone else's house that's smaller or less pretty/fun than ours, either. Life is not about stuff! Life is about personal connections with people we care about, and a well-cared-for house (no matter the size) helps strengthen those important relationships."

My child listened, but I think it's going to take a while for the ideas I've presented to sink-in. For we all know this world is a competitive and comparative place. Many people only look at what other people own, not at who they are.

I hope I will be able to help all of my children fully internalize that what matters in life is doing their very best—not someone else's best. As long as they are doing their best job of taking care of whatever they've earned, own, or been given in their lives, they can have confidence with who they are. Then they won't need to compare themselves to anyone else or their stuff!

Please let me state that I have no problem if people have more than others. If someone has worked hard in their lives and have been able to earn their way to the top, or if a rich relative gave them an enormous amount of money, I say, "Yay, you're rich! Good for you!" :) But I also think, "Feel free to invite me over to your grand and glorious house for a party sometime!" Ha ha. I'm truly happy for people who have a lot. Also, I don't look down on other people who appear to have less. I have definite thoughts about the Less is More theory, which I'll write about in another post someday.

Life is what it is. We can either have a good attitude and embrace the life we've been given, do our best to find solutions and ask for help if it's needed, or we can have self-defeating thoughts and shrivel into a mushy-moldy-stinky tomato! Eww, gross! ;)

I hope everyone can see the value of their house—no matter the size, and make it a delightful environment for every soul who enters its doors!

The Crestwood Challenge

It's been 15 weeks and four days since we moved into our current (old) house. Yay for the happy day!!! About one month before (and until) we moved, I was so busy with packing up our rental house that there was no need to go workout somewhere else. I call it "The Moving Workout"! It was truly such a great workout, simply because the second after I awoke and got the kids off to school, I was dejunking/decluttering or packing up a bajillion boxes for our move. I packed and worked and worked and packed until my body couldn't move anymore! I would fall into bed every night and not budge until my alarm went off the next morning.

Below is a picture I took of myself to chronicle the exhaustion, five days before we moved. Below that is a picture I took, and smiled in, because I couldn't believe how awfully tired I looked in the first picture! I wanted to at least say, "Hey, even though I'm tired, I'm moving to my home! Life is so great!!!"

I'm SO TIRED!

But life is GREAT! :)

My moving workout continued for about six weeks after we moved-in. I was in great shape. My biceps were awesome from endlessly lifting all of those heavy boxes. I was seriously a tough girl! Ha ha.

*And just so you know, I wasn't the only one packing up stuff. Yes, I organized and packed up the house, but Greg moved everything I had packed from the house onto the moving truck. Greg also packed many of his own boxes. Our darling children even helped a smidgen by bringing Greg some of the small plastic totes and boxes! When we arrived at our house, Greg unloaded the moving truck and I unpacked the boxes/arranged the house. Yes, we make a great moving company all by ourselves! :)

Sadly, since about the end of July, my moving workout is no longer enough of a workout. My house is mostly put together. Well...I still have a bunch I can do with our house, but I can take my time. (Isn't that the way with all houses? There is always something to be done!) I have the major stuff totally taken care of. It's a nice feeling. :) But with our move mostly complete, I realized that it was time to get crackin' with a new exercise plan. Because I've not been working out regularly (I've gone walking a few times in the past couple of months), I knew I needed to start small and work my way back to my prior exercising habits. But I'm not depressed in the least (!) with my exercise regression, for I know that I can absolutely work back up to the level I had been exercising at before our big move. :)

Thus, I happily started walking for real this week! The first day, I went with a friend in my neighborhood. It felt wonderful and the conversation was great, but I knew I was craving more of a workout challenge. So yesterday, I decided to really push myself. Yet I knew that I couldn't push too hard, because I wasn't sure if my body would really be okay with the high altitude. Still, I was excited for the exhausted feeling that comes from a good workout! :)

I decided to just head uphill and go until I couldn't continue any farther! I started out small, but kept pushing myself as I went. Along the way, I decided to take some pictures of the glorious scenery around me.

After walking for quite a while, I realized that my body was adjusted to the high altitude. YAY! I thought, "I can push as much as I want!" It helped that I had oodles of happy music on my iPod to help me along my way. There are times I like to walk/run/exercise in quiet, but most times I love being motivated by beautiful music! It seems that the second I hear a happy or beautiful song, my body can do more than I expected. :)

I had pushed myself for a while when I came upon the most beautiful sight: open fields, trees and mountains. So I decided to quit pushing and take some more photos! It was a most incredible view, and my heart was swelling with a joy that is indescribable!

*You must know that as I began taking photos the song, "Oh, What A Beautiful Morning", performed by The Mormon Tabernacle Choir, started playing on my iPod! I quietly laughed out loud and thought, "This is craziness! What a fun, awesome, happy, fortuitous moment!"

What a beautiful morning!

My photos don't do the views justice, but hopefully you can grasp my happiness. I am so grateful for this beautiful earth! As I was taking the photos, I thought, "France has nothing on us! Ha ha. Okay, except maybe we're a little drier than France." ;) Also, I took the photos in three different spots as I continued toward the mountains.

As I neared the top of the road, I was feeling quite fatigued. Thus, I laughed again when No Doubt's, "I'm Just a Girl" came on my iPod! It gave me all the motivation I needed to continue! :) Yes, I totally took a picture of the end of the road because I was proud of myself for making it to the top! (In the non-prideful way, of course!)

On my way back down the road, I decided to walk/run on the curb. I know it sounds a little nutty, but I love trying to keep my balance on street curbs. It's an odd little trait I've had ever since I was a little girl. I think it's my love of gymnastics shining through. Don't knock curb walking/running, it's a great addition to any workout!

Round trip, I think my walk/run/curb-balancing-act was only about 3.25 miles. That said, I think part of my excursion counts for more because half of my trek was continuously uphill!

As I finished my adventure, I decided that one day I would love to be able to run continuously up Crestwood Road without stopping. I think it will take me many weeks (if not months!) to get to that point, but I'm totally up for The Crestwood Challenge!