Going Out

I've been thinking about my little sister, Mackenzie. This is nothing new, as I think of her frequently. But on the 14th anniversary of her death (February 11th, 2016), I was actually in a pretty good place about her—especially considering how sad I've been on anniversaries past. Because of my recent strength, I was surprised that my thoughts have drifted back to Kenzie in my familiar, missing, nostalgic, wishing ways.

My thoughts became more intense this past weekend when Greg asked me to go visit his sweet mom's grave. It's been eight years since Anne passed away, but it feels much more recent. Anne and Mackenzie are both buried in the Salt Lake City Cemetery, so when we visit one, we visit the other.

It was a beautiful, clear, chilly day in the cemetery. The sun shone so brightly! As we stood at Anne's grave, the birds were very twitterpated, they made me laugh! I told Greg that his mom would have loved seeing those happy, feisty birds! :) We stood there for quite a while, holding hands, just looking and thinking...Anne was a marvelous woman!

When a huge wind came up, I hid behind Greg. As I buried my head in his back, I looked over and saw a family driving slowly in a station wagon. They were silently watching us, so I closed my eyes and hugged Greg. Yes, cemeteries are thoughtful, speechless places...probably one of the few spots on Earth I'm without a lot of words.

As we drove up to Kenzie's grave, I read several names. Even though I've been to the Salt Lake City Cemetery more times than I can count, I never tire of wondering who those souls were and what their legacy is. I wonder if they feel good about how they left this world? I wonder what they would tell everyone if they had one more day on Earth? One thing I don't wonder about is their happiness now. I have zero doubts in my mind that they're all smiling and at peace! :)

I spent time staring at Kenzie's headstone, remembering all the times I've visited. No, I don't remember the exact number, but I recall portions of every visit. It's strange to think her years are far past 18—she would be 32 years old now! Yet in my mind, she is still that young adult, a recent high school graduate, barely able to vote. I wonder who she would vote for in 2016? I wonder what she would think of our world's current state of total chaos?

The thought that keeps coming back to me is that Mackenzie doesn't belong to this world anymore. Of course, we'd take her back in a heartbeat(!), but life has moved on so drastically since she left, I think she'd be shocked at the state of our society. I mean, she's only four years shy of having been gone for as long as she was alive—which is mind boggling. My oldest son is only two+ years younger now than Mackenzie was when she died. I truly cannot believe how much time has passed! Yet for me, she is frozen in time. That said, I'm positive Kenz would totally be able to handle whatever this crazy world might throw at her. :)

So today, I want to share a poem Kenzie wrote when she was in elementary school. My dad shared it with me over a year ago and I've had his permission to publish it here, but I just kept hanging onto it privately. I'm glad it feels like the right time to share Mackenzie's words (below). I've kept the basic idea of her poem—font, border, colors—the same, I've just jazzed it up a bit! (I use PicMonkey for my typographic designs.)

When I first read her poem, I was instantly struck with how much I relate to it. Yes, it was a school assignment, but I think her young mind created something lovely! Mackenzie definitely had a wonderful way with words. Our other sister shared with me that their teacher had them create a poem based off a famous poet's poem—she had the same project two years earlier. Kenzie chose "The Pasture," by Robert Frost, and titled it, "Going Out."

Going Out
By Mackenzie Jessica Fullmer

I'm going out to sail the sea;
I'll only stop to clear the clouds away
And wait to feel the breeze, I may:
I shan't be gone long.–You come too.

I'm going out to fetch the little star
That is so delicate. It shines so bright.
It burns throughout the night.
I shan't be gone long.–You come too.

Ever since I read this poem for the very first time, I envision our darling Mackenzie out at sea. She loved the ocean every bit as much as I do—which is A LOT! And whenever I miss her, I think of her words, "I shan't be gone long..." One day, I will be where she is—with our beloved family members. Until that day (which I hope is FAR in the future), I will imagine Mackenzie in the sky, high above the seas, clearing the clouds away, fetching the delicate little stars and saving them for a fantastic light show when she greets us! :)

I'm so grateful for Mackenzie, her precious words, and her heavenly support—which I know she freely and continually gives to our family members and me!

I took this photo from the balcony of my aunt and uncle's beautiful condo in Florida. I will never forget our glorious vacation there! Yes, the Treasure Coast will be a part of my heart forever! :)

Great Motherhood Quotes and My Poem

This morning, while getting ready for ward choir and church, I listened to Elder Christofferson's General Conference Talk, The Moral Force of Women. Suddenly, I had a very strong desire to make a typographic design of my poem, Creation, Sustenance and Influence, so I did! And I'm very happy about it. :) (Well, I had to wait until tonight to create it.)

Here are two of Elder Christofferson's many paragraphs that spoke to my soul (emphasis added):

"Most sacred is a woman’s role in the creation of life. We know that our physical bodies have a divine origin and that we must experience both a physical birth and a spiritual rebirth to reach the highest realms in God’s celestial kingdom. Thus, women play an integral part (sometimes at the risk of their own lives) in God’s work and glory 'to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.'" 

"A pernicious philosophy that undermines women’s moral influence is the devaluation of marriage and of motherhood and homemaking as a career. Some view homemaking with outright contempt, arguing it demeans women and that the relentless demands of raising children are a form of exploitation. They ridicule what they call 'the mommy track' as a career. This is not fair or right. We do not diminish the value of what women or men achieve in any worthy endeavor or career—we all benefit from those achievements—but we still recognize there is not a higher good than motherhood and fatherhood in marriage. There is no superior career, and no amount of money, authority, or public acclaim can exceed the ultimate rewards of family. Whatever else a woman may accomplish, her moral influence is no more optimally employed than here." – D. Todd Christofferson, "The Moral Force of Women", Ensign, November, 2013.

I also absolutely love the following quote he referenced by Elder Maxwell—I included a little bit more than Elder Christofferson's original quote:

"When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. The women of God know this." – Neal A. Maxwell, "The Women of God", Ensign, April, 1978

Oh, yes, I love and deeply appreciate the wonderful words of those inspired men! I'm pretty sure the children of our world are much happier when their mothers choose to follow what Elders Christofferson and Maxwell have said. :)

Here's my poem...goodnight!

P.S. Sorry it's a little hard to read because of the smallish words. When I printed it out, it's a full-sized 8.5 x 11, so it's easy to read, but it doesn't quite show up the same way here on Enthusiastic Fantastic. Oh well... :)

Have You Forgotten?

Today as I watched a very depressing news program (only for a few minutes), I had a very strong thought come to me in regard to all of the craziness going on in our world. I couldn't finish cleaning my room (Yay me! I mean, yay that I was cleaning! Ha ha.) until I wrote down my thoughts. Thus, I decided to send my words into our amazing and beautiful universe...hopefully someone will find them to be useful! :)

Have You Forgotten?

by Adrie Peterson

Dear Humankind,

Have you forgotten where you really came from?

Has your soul misplaced those fraGmented heavenly memories you tried so desperately to retain?

Can you not remember our Heavenly Father's loving arms wrapped around you?

Have His tender words faded into the deep recesses of your mind?

Do you not recall what a soul kiss feels like?

What about your spirit brothers and sisters, did you forget they are here on earth, too?

Together, we sang and shouted for joy at the creation of our earth.

We could hardly stand the anguish of waiting to receive our precious and blessed bodies!

Yet we were elated when our loved ones received news that their souls finally had a place to reside.

Tears were abundantly shed at the birth, death and resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ, as we were with Him—freely giving our support—in every special moment.

His life impacted us all for eternity!

Because of Him, we decided to do our very best and live each day to its fullest.

We agreed and promised we would be there for God's children who were purposely placed in our book of life.

We are each other's angels in the flesh!

One day, each of our spirits will separate from the physical and resume their position in the presence of divinity.

Oh, please, please remember...

My Take on Women Seeking Ordination to the Priesthood

Please note that I am not an official representative of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but I am a lifelong (and very happy!) member of it. This blog, Enthusiastic Fantastic, is all mine. I don't have outside contributors. I don't have brainstorming sessions with others, although I'll occasionally run an idea past my husband. No one has ever asked me to write anything. No one has paid me to write anything. Even though I've signed up with AdSense, I've only "virtually" made $0.26* for the entire time I've been posting on this blog—which makes me chuckle! (*That amount was current as of the original date of this post.) Besides the advertisement boxes, I own every bit of content you find on this blog—minus the quotes I've shared. :)

For a long time I've put off publicly writing my feelings about this whole "women should be ordained to the priesthood" protesting saga that has been happening between some members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

The main reason for my silence is the fact that I've seen what mean and hurtful things have been written on other people's blogs who speak out about any particular social topic. People can be so rude and downright mean to anyone who doesn't share the same opinion as they do. I have a very hard time with unkindness! Also, I think the online meanness that any one of us can experience on a daily basis, has escalated to the point where people are afraid to share their opinion at all. It's a very sad state of our society.

The other reason I've been hesitant to speak out is due to the advice given in Proverbs 21:23. It's another one of my favorite scriptures! :)

{I was pretty excited to use buttons in my typographic design this time! You know the idiom, "Button it!" Yeah, I couldn't resist!}

That said, the ordain women movement has been a great annoyance to me for the past year. So, after reading two articles this past Friday, I decided to finally be brave and add my thoughts.

One article I read discusses the power of telling the truth, and the other one was the letter from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that was addressed to the Ordain Women group leaders. Side note: I'm still stunned that Ordain Women is planning a protest at General Conference, April, 2014! Seriously, what the what?! Anyway...

*Oh, and before I continue, I'd like to express my sincere love and deep gratitude for the multitude of blessings that have come to me through the priesthood blessings I've received throughout my life. I am immensely happy to be married to a worthy priesthood holder. My priesthood-holding husband has blessed me, and our children, more than I ever could have imagined! :)

First off, I'd like to share what my church defines priesthood as:

"The word priesthood has two meanings. First, priesthood is the power and authority of God. It has always existed and will continue to exist without end (see Alma 13:7–8; D&C 84:17–18). Through the priesthood, God created and governs the heavens and the earth. Through this power, He exalts His obedient children, bringing to pass “the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39; see also D&C 84:35–38). 

Second, in mortality, priesthood is the power and authority that God gives to man to act in all things necessary for the salvation of God’s children. The blessings of the priesthood are available to all who receive the gospel. (“Priesthood Authority” Handbook 2, Administering the Church)"

Good, I'm glad we're clear on what the priesthood means to me and my church. :)

Several months ago, I wrote and posted a poem on my private blog. (Do I still call it a poem even though it doesn't rhyme?! Ha ha.) I'll share it here, but without the current pictures of my children. (I may seem silly, but I still have major privacy concerns. I know, I know, then why am I still publicly displaying my life online? Well, it's because I feel like I am supposed to share my thoughts/views with the world. So, I share!) I also want to discuss a little more deeply as to why I don't believe women should be—or need to be—ordained to the priesthood.

Creation, Sustenance and Influence

by Adrie Peterson

I am a woman...like the magnificent Eve, who—during the creation period—was the very last being created on Earth.

I have been given a body that does whatever I wish.

I have been given the gift of creation.

In this supreme body, I have been given the opportunity to create pure and holy vessels for God's children to come to earth and live.

I choose to honor my Father in Heaven.

I marry a righteous man for eternity who blesses our lives with the priesthood. Our tremendous love for each other allows us to become parents.

This splendid body of mine produces the sustenance needed for those perfect little bodies to grow in health...they become strong because of me. A baby's cells multiply and divide millions of times as a direct result of my never-ending sacrifice and bodily efforts.

As a mother, I am selfless love's highest form.

When babies are no longer physically attached to the marvelous gift that my body is, I am continually able to influence their precious tiny souls as they grow. They look to me for knowledge, direction, comfort, pleasure and peace. Through the years, my influence might be taken for granted. Eventually, those priceless souls feel the pull of their fondest memories and the invisible cord leads them back to me.

I gently guide His children...my children...toward heavenly attitudes and actions.

Our Father in Heaven has entrusted me with assisting Him in His most wondrous work and glory. There is no need to ever ask for more...

He has already given me the greatest responsibility of all: creation.

Before some readers become annoyed at me, please let me explain that I fully understand that some women have not been given the beautiful gift of motherhood, thus, they might feel like they've received the short end of the stick in the terms of Heavenly gifts. For I believe that motherhood is the crowning gift from our Heavenly Father. Yet I feel like I can understand those childless women's pain—to some extent—because I was spiritually shown multiple times that my little family was complete, before I was ready to be done creating children.

I would have loved to have at least one more child—if not two or three more children! To this day, I still fight back tiny tears when I see a newborn baby. And when I'm alone, I'll frequently let some of those tears fill my eyes. How's that for honesty? Thus, I feel like I have a smidgen of understanding for those women who deeply desire to create children, but haven't been able to.

As we all know, sometimes in life we simply don't get to do what we want, or have the righteous desires of our hearts. Sometimes, we are given additional answers as to why our Heavenly Father's answer is "No.", but many times we won't find out the answers until after we return home to heaven. I don't know exactly why this is the case, but I suspect it has everything to do with our mortal challenge of faithfully enduring to the end well.

I know one of the reasons why some people in The Church feel like it's time for women to hold the priesthood, is so women can also bless the lives of others through priesthood blessings. Blessing the lives of others is a totally righteous desire! To them, I say this: Women can absolutely bless the lives of others in countless ways! Those blessings don't have to come only through the priesthood.

It's up to each of us how we choose to spend our time. Even though women don't hold the priesthood, there are so many ways we can contribute to The Church and society as a whole. Women can pray and have magnificent prayer experiences (I've personally witnessed miracles from my prayers), serve and lead in their church callings, serve in the temple, serve everyone around us, participate in fasting and contribute fast offerings monthly, have a career that makes a positive impact, serve as a missionary for The Church, etc.. The possibilities and opportunities are truly endless! :)

Now onto men and the priesthood. I truly believe that men were absolutely given the responsibility of the priesthood, it is meant for them! And I don't mean that in a disrespectful way to women. Again, I simply believe women were given the responsibility to create and grow our Heavenly Father's children. Similarly, that statement is not meant to be disrespectful to men!

Of course, I've heard the argument that fatherhood and motherhood are exactly the same, thus men have one more heavenly blessing—in holding the priesthood—that women don't. Yet, I don't see it that way. Fatherhood is so very important for the benefit of all children. Every child deserves to be raised by their mother and father! But I feel motherhood goes one step beyond fatherhood.

The connection that a mother holds with the child in her womb is quite unique to any other relationship. (Granted, we all know that a baby is conceived because of a woman and a man. Women can't create children alone, and neither can men. Men and women are truly so blessed to have each other!) It's because of the intense womb-time that women and children spend together (and the subsequent early-childhood years) that they have an inseparable connection to each other.

I have happy tears when I remember my three children in my womb—thankfully at separate times! Ha ha. Those 27 combined months were some of the very best in my life, which is saying a lot because I puked at least twice a day, every day, for 21 weeks of those months! (I still double curse morning sickness!) I will always remember my babies moving inside of me. Their individual personalities were clearly evident even before they were born! :) And I'll never forget that glorious moment when I pushed my sweet little babies into this beautiful world and they were laid on my chest. No experience will ever compare to the amazing conception, development and birth of my three children!

But back to worthy priesthood-holding men...they are a glorious blessing to and for our society. It's because of them that stunning and amazing miracles are brought to pass every day.

To those who say, "Women deserve to produce miracles too!", I respond with this: Women create miracles every day with the conception, birth, and raising of their children! Every child is a miracle! Women are already a huge part of the heavenly, miracle-creating process!

Why, then, would Heavenly Father not allow men not be able to produce miracles as well? How would it be fair to men if women were a part of two miracle-creating processes: motherhood and the priesthood? Talk about the potential for inequality! No matter how much a man desires to be the vessel of the miracle of life, he simply can't grow and sustain a baby inside of him like a woman can. Therefore, the priesthood gives men the wonderful opportunity to be vessels for miracles too.

Even though I've presented my feelings as to why women don't need to be ordained to the priesthood, some might still totally disagree with me. To them, I say it all comes down to this:

• Our Heavenly Father created, and has given us, an eternal plan to follow.
• Jesus Christ was chosen to be our Savior, so we can return to our Heavenly Father and live with Them again.
• We agreed to our Heavenly Father's plan, as is evidenced by our actually being on Earth with our precious bodies.
• If we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, it means that we believe it is the true and restored church of Jesus Christ.
• If we are members of The Church, it also means that we support what Joseph Smith presented when he founded The Church.
• Our baptism into The Church means that we support and sustain The Church's leadership and the way they run The Church.
• If we don't support or agree with the leaders of The Church, we can calmly and rationally express our opinions, but it's not up to us to change the doctrine of The Church—only the First Presidency of The Church can do that. To further clarify my point, I recommend reading, watching, or listening to, "The Doctrine of Christ," by Elder D. Todd Christofferson.

*Update 03/23/14, 5:11 p.m.: After reading a comment from one of my readers, I realized that I needed to further clarify what I wrote in the previous bullet point about "changing the doctrine of The Church". No, the First presidency can't just up and change the doctrine to be whatever they want it to be. Only the Lord can change the doctrine of His church. I believe in, and fully support, the 9th Article of Faith which states, "We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God." I also completely agree with Elder Christofferson's quote, "This [the 9th Article of Faith] is to say that while there is much we do not yet know, the truths and doctrine we have received have come and will continue to come by divine revelation." That was indeed the point I was trying to make: The Lord will reveal those truths and doctrines to the prophet/apostles, and they will be presented through the First Presidency. To continue that idea, later in his talk, Elder Christofferson said, "...in the end, just as in the New Testament Church, the objective is not simply consensus among council members but revelation from God. It is a process involving both reason and faith for obtaining the mind and will of the Lord."

• If we have received an answer to our question/problem/request from The Church (as the Ordain Women group received on March 17th, 2014), we have the option to either listen to and follow what they say, or not. If we completely disagree with the answer we've received from The church, we have the option to leave The Church altogether. I truly don't want anyone to leave The Church, but everyone has their free agency. Everyone can make their own choices.

What I hope is that those protesting church members will see the miracle of motherhood as I do. I hope they will appreciate the great value and beauty of womanhood. Womanhood stands alone, even without motherhood or the priesthood!

Women are so blessed to be women! Men are so blessed to be men! We were created differently on purpose. Men and women were created to compliment each other, especially in marriage. We need each other. We are meant for each other! We can create and participate in miracles together!

I just truly don't believe women need the priesthood as men do.

Even though the responsibilities of men and women are different, those differences do not make us unequal. Every man and woman is equal in the sight of our Heavenly Father. All are alike!

2 Nephi 26:33:
For none of these iniquities come of the Lord; for he doeth that which is good among the children of men; and he doeth nothing save it be plain unto the children of men; and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile.

Lastly, I'd like to share this BYU Devotional, "Fourteen Fundamentals in Following the Prophet," by Ezra Taft Benson. When he gave the talk, he was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I really wanted to just copy and paste the 14-point summary of his talk, but I don't want to infringe on copyright laws. Instead, I will strongly encourage you to read every word of his fabulous talk!

Elder Benson beautifully presented his case that every member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints should absolutely follow the current prophet, for the prophet is the only person on Earth who speaks for the Lord in everything. He also brilliantly stated,

"How we respond to the words of a living prophet when he tells us what we need to know, but would rather not hear, is a test of our faithfulness." 

"If we want to know how well we stand with the Lord, then let us ask ourselves how well we stand with His mortal captain."—meaning the current president of The Church.

We would do well to follow his counsel. And now, I rest my case! :)

P.S. I love that I finished my post just in time for me to go get ready for church!

*Update: As I wrote this blog post in 2014 and life is always changing, I want to include this update from the Church. In 2015, the Church published an essay titled, "Joseph Smith’s Teachings about Priesthood, Temple, and Women." It's definitely worth a read! Also, check out their additional resources on the right side of the page. There are many other articles to delve into. :)