Monday, July 8, 2019

My Jerry Maguire Moment

At 10:37 p.m. this past Friday, I published a blog post that took me a couple of days to write. It was a deep, heartfelt, very raw piece of work. I worried about sharing it here on Enthusiastic Fantastic because it contained a lot of truths that would probably hurt the feelings of my childhood family (i.e., my "first" family; the family of my birth), and possibly further damage our relationships, but I posted it anyway. 😬

Around 4:30 a.m. on Saturday, I awoke with my heart pounding and the thoughts rushed into my mind, "What have I done?! I need to go revert my blog post back to a draft RIGHT NOW!" Yes, it was a true Jerry Maguire moment—I laugh that I now feel such a kinship to a fictional character! 😂

Like Jerry at the beginning of his journey, I typed and typed and typed to create my truth-filled blog post! I endlessly wrote my feelings about, observations of, and solutions to my issues with members of my childhood family—things I've thought throughout the years but haven't said publicly. It was such a therapeutic opportunity for me and I loved every minute of it! 💛 But then the panic set in, just like Jerry Maguire's realization moment!

Sadly, this YouTube clip doesn't show Jerry's pit-in-the-stomach scene when he finally internalizes what he's done by creating his 25-page memo and sharing it with everyone in his company (they edited it out 👎). Spoiler alert! Jerry's bold, truthful actions got him fired!

Side note: you can watch Jerry Maguire (the creator of this video clip spelled Maguire wrong!) for free on Amazon if you're willing to watch it with commercials! 😃 *Also, I don't normally endorse rated R movies, but I saw Jerry Maguire when I was a very young adult and I hadn't made the commitment to not watch rated R movies. I personally own the content-edited-for-TV version and I absolutely love it! #noswearing 😀 Despite its conflicts in many areas with my personal beliefs and commitments, Jerry Maguire has some great universal truths that everyone can learn from.

I had the same type of freak-out thoughts when I awoke so early Saturday morning: If members of my childhood family read my brutally honest blog post, they just might not recover! I could be fired from my childhood family! 😂 And, when I really thought about it, no, I didn't and don't want to be fired from my childhood family. Because, for good and bad, family is family, after all. 💔

I quickly got out of bed and sleepily hurried down the stairs as speedily as I could without falling over—I always get headrush when I get out of bed too fast! When I pulled up my blog's stats on "Hmm, What to Say," I was relieved to see that only three people had viewed my blog post—whew!—and I was one, if not two of them! Ha ha. 😅 After I clicked "Revert to draft," I felt immediate relief! My heart quit pounding, and I happily and very slowly went back upstairs to bed. I instantly fell back asleep and slept well the rest of the night.

When I awoke a few hours later, I wondered if I had overreacted by reverting "Hmm, What to Say" back to a draft. I pulled up my blog post on my phone—thankfully, it was still there from the night before! I felt so sneaky reading my blog post that technically wasn't there anymore—it was such my fun little secret! 😄 That sounds so silly, but I loved it!

I read through "Hmm, What to Say" again and was very happy 😇 with my blogging efforts—it was a great post that I loved writing and reading! Yet after analyzing my words in the very bright morning light of my corner bedroom, I knew I had made the right decision to revert it back to a draft and not keep it posted here.

Sunday, after church, while Greg and I were having a deep conversation about both of our childhood families, I read "Hmm, What to Say" to him. It was such fun reading aloud my words that I had so painstakingly composed. Greg thought it was a great post, too! Yay! Disclaimer: I gushed quite a bit about Greg in my post, so of course he enjoyed it! Ha ha.

Greg eventually agreed with me that I shouldn't post "Hmm, What to Say" on my blog. He only admitted that after I pestered him to really tell me what he thought. Greg is and has always been 100% supportive of my blogging efforts here on Enthusiastic Fantastic. He continually says, "Write whatever you want! It's your blog!" and has never wanted to get in the way of any of my blog posts. So it took a lot for him to tell me not to post it—and I definitely listened to him because of that fact.

In the end, I'm so thankful I took the time to blog about something so serious, even though I didn't keep it published here. Writing is so therapeutic to my soul, it always makes me a better version of myself! I especially love blogging and always will! I'm so truly grateful to Blogger for hosting such a great space where I can share myself on the World Wide Web! Thank you, Blogger, from the bottom of my heart! 😘

Here is a quote from Elder Neal A. Maxwell's brilliant talk, "Enduring Well," that we can all learn from. His words apply to every experience we have in this life—especially when it comes to our families. 😊

"Part of enduring well consists of being meek enough, amid our suffering, to learn from our relevant experiences. Rather than simply passing through these things, they must pass through us and do so in ways which sanctify these experiences for our good (see D&C 122:7). Thereby, our empathy, too, is enriched and everlasting."
I am grateful for Elder Maxwell's wise words and will try my best to remember them when dealing with my childhood family and our ongoing issues.

Finally, I found this fabulous dress (photos below ) at Lulus for a fantastic price of only $14! Yes, I really did! Believe it! 😄 This dress is no longer available, as Lulus' inventory moves very quickly—especially when it's on sale. But Lulus always has amazing dresses and if you watch their website closely, you can frequently get outstanding deals like this one. That said, if you find a dress that you absolutely can't live without, I don't recommend waiting for it to go on sale because you might miss out on your size! And I don't want anyone living with dress regrets! 😂

*By the by, I'm not being paid or sponsored in any way to share my thoughts about Lulus—they are mine and mine alone without any sort of outside influence whatsoever.

Oh, how I love dresses and dressing up! 😍 I'm so grateful that my sweet little family puts up with my dress obsession and takes photos of me wearing said obsessions whenever I ask them! Ha ha. 😆 My darling Gregor took these photos for me after I got home from church yesterday. I love how he snapped a bunch of pics while I was trying to keep my hair from blowing all over the place—it's fun to see behind the scenes! Thank you, Greg! 💙😘

Click on each photo for a crisper/clearer view.

Bye now! I hope you have a wonderful day! 👋😀