Friday, December 22, 2017

Blogging for Conflict Resolution

You might have noticed that I've put off blogging for quite a while. As I described in my previous post, I've been very busy. Yet at the same time, I've tried to analyze myself and figure out why I've not been blogging like I truly desire. I finally realized that I haven't made blogging a priority because I've been having some issues with my extended family. It's difficult to write that here on my blog—a wonderful public space I've created for myself, but it's true.

I've struggled mightily over the past several months due to feelings of frustration and sadness over a lack of closeness between myself and some extended family members—both in my family and Greg's family, but especially mine. And no matter how much time has gone by, or how many efforts of goodwill I've extended, those issues frustratingly remain to some degree, or another.

I've been greatly misjudged on many levels, which tears at my soul! So many times I've found myself tearing up saying, "I can't believe they honestly thought that way about me! I can't believe they didn't think to ask me about the real story! I can't believe they wouldn't call to talk to me in person instead of jumping to such conclusions based on hearsay! —because we all know what gossip and judging without actually talking with the person you've been offended by does.

I'm such a happy person—it's true! 😀 I live my life very well—exactly how I desire! 😁 So when you love people as much as I do and some of the very important people in your life misjudge you and put you into a category that you don't belong, well, it feels horrible. Of course, I'm the type who will happily keep going about my life, day in and day out, without letting someone curb my enthusiasm, but that doesn't mean their actions don't affect me—especially when I care deeply about said souls!

I won't go into the nitty-gritty details because there's no point. Suffice it to say, my heart has squeezed with sadness more than once over the past several months. Forgiveness has taken on an entirely new meaning to me! I've forgiven everyone, but I don't know and can't tell if they've forgiven me, or not—which is a struggle to my soul that I consciously and continually push away. I keep striving my best every day to say and do the Christlike right things, but that doesn't mean my heart doesn't still twinge with tears.

I don't know if any of you have experienced anything like this before (and I'm sorry I'm not being more specific), but, to me, it feels like no matter what I say or do (or said or did), those select extended family members have placed me in the new classification of "other," or "no longer welcome," which feels terrible—and it seems as if there's no way for me to be reclassified! 😞

So. What I've been trying to do is learn from these torturous feelings. I've tried valiantly to see where other people are coming from—even if their actions/words don't make sense to me. And, I've let my extended family members "go," to the extent possible—which is unbelievably hard for me, but I let go because I love them.

I'm hoping that by finally writing about my issues here, I will feel better and be able to move on. I love writing so much(!)—it works wonders for my soul! Thus, it's been difficult when I've felt that I can't speak of my situation (my truth!) here on Enthusiastic Fantastic because someone might misinterpret my words—which is why I stayed away from blogging for such a long time in the first place. But that ends right now with my version of conflict resolution—or, what I like to call "Blogging for Conflict Resolution"!  I think it should be the hip new call to action, don't you?! Ha ha. 😃

Now I'm going to share what I'm thankful for...and just know that these thoughts relate somehow to the situations I described previously—meaning the lack of those actions, too. Did any of that make sense?! 😄

In no particular order, I'm truly thankful for:
  • genuine smiles
  • looking me in the eye
  • happy hugs
  • questions asked in a kind and truthful manner
  • "likes" 💖 and comments on my Instagram posts
  • continuing to follow my Instagram accounts (I absolutely love my Instagram world I've created!)
  • responding to texts and emails I've sent
  • giving me the benefit of the doubt
  • not jumping to conclusions
  • talking to me directly instead of gossiping about me
  • loving me and liking me 😊 (you know, because families must love each other even if they don't like each other very much)
  • desiring to understand where I'm coming from
  • sharing time and energy with me
  • having a willingness to listen to what I have to say
  • valuing my thoughts and opinions
  • acknowledging that I have something to contribute
  • respecting my differing opinions
  • recognizing boundaries and not overstepping
  • staying connected to me even though we see things differently
  • sharing your world with me even though it looks vastly different from mine
  • not being jealous of my happy life
  • recognizing that I consistently work very hard to have my wonderful life
  • acknowledging that my happy, wonderful life isn't easy—unlike others who have misjudged it as such
  • being genuinely happy for the amazing and endlessly-loving eternal marriage that Greg and I have created together
  • appreciating my sincere endeavors to make this world a better place without labeling me as a "show off," or a "bragger"
  • accepting my true friendship efforts with the intent they were offered
  • letting go of any resentment or anger directed towards me
Now I'd like to share some lovely quotes I've really appreciated over the past few weeks—they've helped me tremendously!
Remember: "Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves." – Matt Kahn 
That genius quote deserved a typographic design of its very own! I really enjoyed creating this one! 🌲
"Being positive in a negative situation is not naive, it's leadership."Ralph Marston 
"There's a common denominator in our human experience... Everybody wants to know: Did you hear me, and did what I say matter?"Oprah Winfrey
With that, please enjoy these inspiring lyrics from "I'll Begin Again," by Leslie Bricusse, in the movie musical Scrooge. Yes, I'm totally applying these wonderful thoughts to myself, but I truly believe they should live in all of our hearts every day of our lives! 😇
I'll begin again
I will build my life
I will live to know
That I fulfilled my life
I'll begin today
Throw away the past
And the future I build
Will be something that will last  
I will take the time
I have left to live
And I will give it all
That I have left to give
I will live my days
For my fellow men
And I'll live in praise
Of that moment when
I was able to begin again  
I will start anew
I will make amends
And I'll make quite certain
That the story ends
On a note of hope
On a strong amen
And I'll thank the world
And remember when
I was able to begin again
I absolutely love this inspired version by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir!

Lastly, I know this is not one of my most enthusiastic fantastic posts, but it's where I've been for quite a long time, and I felt the need to share. So, thank you for making it this far with me! Your reading efforts are greatly appreciated! I hope you have a wonderful day! 💙💛