Blogging for Conflict Resolution

You might have noticed that I've put off blogging for quite a while. As I described in my previous post, I've been very busy. Yet at the same time, I've tried to analyze myself and figure out why I've not been blogging like I truly desire. I finally realized that I haven't made blogging a priority because I've been having some issues with my extended family. It's difficult to write that here on my blog—a wonderful public space I've created for myself, but it's true.

I've struggled mightily over the past several months due to feelings of frustration and sadness over a lack of closeness between myself and some extended family members—both in my family and Greg's family, but especially mine. And no matter how much time has gone by, or how many efforts of goodwill I've extended, those issues frustratingly remain to some degree, or another.

I've been greatly misjudged on many levels, which tears at my soul! So many times I've found myself tearing up saying, "I can't believe they honestly thought that way about me! I can't believe they didn't think to ask me about the real story! I can't believe they wouldn't call to talk to me in person instead of jumping to such conclusions based on hearsay! —because we all know what gossip and judging without actually talking with the person you've been offended by does.

I'm such a happy person—it's true! 😀 I live my life very well—exactly how I desire! 😁 So when you love people as much as I do and some of the very important people in your life misjudge you and put you into a category that you don't belong, well, it feels horrible. Of course, I'm the type who will happily keep going about my life, day in and day out, without letting someone curb my enthusiasm, but that doesn't mean their actions don't affect me—especially when I care deeply about said souls!

I won't go into the nitty-gritty details because there's no point. Suffice it to say, my heart has squeezed with sadness more than once over the past several months. Forgiveness has taken on an entirely new meaning to me! I've forgiven everyone, but I don't know and can't tell if they've forgiven me, or not—which is a struggle to my soul that I consciously and continually push away. I keep striving my best every day to say and do the Christlike right things, but that doesn't mean my heart doesn't still twinge with tears.

I don't know if any of you have experienced anything like this before (and I'm sorry I'm not being more specific), but, to me, it feels like no matter what I say or do (or said or did), those select extended family members have placed me in the new classification of "other," or "no longer welcome," which feels terrible—and it seems as if there's no way for me to be reclassified! 😞

So. What I've been trying to do is learn from these torturous feelings. I've tried valiantly to see where other people are coming from—even if their actions/words don't make sense to me. And, I've let my extended family members "go," to the extent possible—which is unbelievably hard for me, but I let go because I love them.

I'm hoping that by finally writing about my issues here, I will feel better and be able to move on. I love writing so much(!)—it works wonders for my soul! Thus, it's been difficult when I've felt that I can't speak of my situation (my truth!) here on Enthusiastic Fantastic because someone might misinterpret my words—which is why I stayed away from blogging for such a long time in the first place. But that ends right now with my version of conflict resolution—or, what I like to call "Blogging for Conflict Resolution"!  I think it should be the hip new call to action, don't you?! Ha ha. 😃

Now I'm going to share what I'm thankful for...and just know that these thoughts relate somehow to the situations I described previously—meaning the lack of those actions, too. Did any of that make sense?! 😄

In no particular order, I'm truly thankful for:

• genuine smiles
• looking me in the eye
• happy hugs
• questions asked in a kind and truthful manner
• "likes" 💖 and comments on my Instagram posts
• continuing to follow my Instagram accounts (I absolutely love my Instagram world I've created!)
• responding to texts and emails I've sent
• giving me the benefit of the doubt
• not jumping to conclusions
• talking to me directly instead of gossiping about me
• loving me and liking me 😊 (you know, because families must love each other even if they don't like each other very much)
• desiring to understand where I'm coming from
• sharing time and energy with me
• having a willingness to listen to what I have to say
• valuing my thoughts and opinions
• acknowledging that I have something to contribute
• respecting my differing opinions
• recognizing boundaries and not overstepping
• staying connected to me even though we see things differently
• sharing your world with me even though it looks vastly different from mine
• not being jealous of my happy life
• recognizing that I consistently work very hard to have my wonderful life
• acknowledging that my happy, wonderful life isn't easy—unlike others who have misjudged it as such
• being genuinely happy for the amazing and endlessly-loving eternal marriage that Greg and I have created together
• appreciating my sincere endeavors to make this world a better place without labeling me as a "show off," or a "bragger"
• accepting my true friendship efforts with the intent they were offered
• letting go of any resentment or anger directed towards me

Now I'd like to share some lovely quotes I've really appreciated over the past few weeks—they've helped me tremendously!

Remember: "Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves." – Matt Kahn 

That genius quote deserved a typographic design of its very own! I really enjoyed creating this one! 🌲

"Being positive in a negative situation is not naive, it's leadership." – Ralph Marston 

"There's a common denominator in our human experience... Everybody wants to know: Did you hear me, and did what I say matter?" – Oprah Winfrey

With that, please enjoy these inspiring lyrics from "I'll Begin Again," by Leslie Bricusse, in the movie musical Scrooge. Yes, I'm totally applying these wonderful thoughts to myself, but I truly believe they should live in all of our hearts every day of our lives! 😇

I'll begin again
I will build my life
I will live to know
That I fulfilled my life
I'll begin today
Throw away the past
And the future I build
Will be something that will last  

I will take the time
I have left to live
And I will give it all
That I have left to give
I will live my days
For my fellow men
And I'll live in praise
Of that moment when
I was able to begin again  

I will start anew
I will make amends
And I'll make quite certain
That the story ends
On a note of hope
On a strong amen
And I'll thank the world
And remember when
I was able to begin again

I absolutely love this inspired version by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir!

Lastly, I know this is not one of my most enthusiastic fantastic posts, but it's where I've been for quite a long time, and I felt the need to share. So, thank you for making it this far with me! Your reading efforts are greatly appreciated! I hope you have a wonderful day! 💙💛

An Inspiring Pick-Me-Up

Last Thursday morning (March 27th, 2014), as I was getting ready to do our dishes and clean our kitchen/living area, I decided to turn something on to keep my mind entertained. Surprisingly, I wasn't in the mood for "Frasier" which has been my go-to show for the past several weeks. (I love that I'm only 80 episodes into the series! That means I still have 184 hilarious episodes left to watch! Yippee!) Instead, I felt spiritually impressed to turn on one of my top-three favorite Roku channels, the Mormon Channel.

I randomly chose the section, "Conversations," and selected the interviewee, Gary Ceran. I didn't know anything about his story, but the Mormon Channel's description sounded totally intriguing. Here's the link to "Gary Ceran—Episode 13," and the description of the show:

"Early in the morning of one Christmas Eve, Gary Ceran's life was drastically and forever altered. On this day, a terrible traffic accident took the lives of his wife and two of his children. Learn how Gary Ceran dealt with this tragedy on a personal level."

I was enthralled as I listened to Mr. Ceran's story. There were times during the program that I was stunned, saddened, and even cried a few tiny tears. But in those same moments I felt sadness for his situation, I absolutely felt the Spirit (Holy Ghost), too! I was continually inspired during the 84-minute episode, and by its end, I felt a spiritual rejuvenation that I hadn't experienced in several days.

After the program ended, I pondered what I heard. I decided to listen to the entire program again, so I could really internalize what Mr. Ceran is trying to teach the world. I got a lot of work done in my house that day! Yay!

Thus, I decided to share the Ceran family's story with whoever reads my blog. :) I won't divulge the amazing and nearly unbelievable twists and turns that Mr. Ceran has endured in his life, but I will share some of his amazing quotes with you. I imagine these quotes will be handy for those of you who don't have time to hear the entire episode—you'll still be able to be positively influenced by a few nuggets of his wisdom. :)

*Oh, and I listened to sections of the program over and over so I could write down each one of these quotes, so you'd better enjoy them! Ha ha. Just kidding! Ultimately, I'm just grateful to have these for my own personal reference. (I edited them just the smallest smidgen of a bit for readability's sake.)

36:02:

Gary Ceran: "...Some people would expect you to ask, 'Why?' The thing is, most people—when they ask why—they ask why rhetorically, with a clenched fist. It's why with an exclamation point, and not why with a question mark. When you really ask why, the Lord tells you why."

39:02:

Gary Ceran: "You start to say, 'Heavenly Father, you've seen what I will do in this experience, and you know that I will be faithful. You know that I will trust you. Why do I need to go through it again? Is there something that I haven't done? Is there some way I haven't proven myself?'"

 Ruth Todd: "Or didn't learn the last time?"

Gary Ceran: "It's like sooner or later you think, 'Heavenly Father, please help me to get a clue, so that I don't have to do this anymore!'" (On a personal note, I can SO relate to this set of quotes!)

41:48:

Gary Ceran: "Part of what you realize as you go through those experiences, and as you feel that incredible peace 'that surpasses all understanding,' when the Lord comforts you—and you feel encircled about in the arms of love of 10,000 people on each side of the veil—you come to realize how incredibly ridiculous it is to shake your fist at heaven. Because all you can say is, 'Why are you trying to make me more like you?' And it's the reason why we're here!"—to become more like our Father in Heaven! (That last phrase is mine.)

45:48:

Gary Ceran: "It's only if you know the mighty grief that you can know the mighty rapture. Every bit of sorrow stretches out places in the soul for joy. You come to have a depth of feeling that's SO incredible in everything. It's not just that you know sadness that other people may not know, or the same type—or whatever, but you come to feel gratitude..."

 50:06:

Gary Ceran: "Part of it is just trusting in the Lord—just knowing that He loves you, and that every problem will ultimately end."

59:40:

Gary Ceran: "It's been an extraordinary experience when you understand how the Lord shapes you, and molds you through those experiences and teaches you a depth of joy that you couldn't know without them."

Now, if those wonderful quotes haven't convinced you to listen to the program, I'd like to list the subjects I feel this interview covered, or at least touched on (these are in no particular order):

forgiveness
love
marriage
faith
loss of a spouse
loss of a child
mercy
priesthood blessings
prayer
fasting
church
answers
charity
becoming a better person
overcoming adversity
having a righteous influence on others
enduring to the end

Again, here's the link to the "Conversations" program, "Gary Ceran—Episode 13." Enjoy!