Family-Focused Family Home Evening

For my family's family home evening this past Monday night, I chose two of BYUTV's amazing Turning Point episodes for us to watch: San Pasqual Academy and The Clarks.

After watching those two inspiring videos on my own, I felt so strongly that my children absolutely needed to learn life lessons from those sweet children in California's foster care system, and especially from the wonderful Clark family. And I knew that our family home evening was the perfect opportunity for us to learn together! 😊

While those Turning Point episodes show the immense value of solid/good personal relationships, they especially point out the vast importance of families—which begin from having good parents (and grandparents, whenever possible)!

When my family finished watching San Pasqual Academy and The Clarks, Greg and I had a fairly long conversation with our children about life.

Greg and I reminded our children how incredibly blessed we are to have each other in our very own eternal family! We already have everything those darling foster-care children were seeking and desired so deeply within their lonely, lost souls. No one can ever put a price on the earthly and eternal bond my family has!

We pointed out that San Diego County finally realized—after interviewing many foster-care children—just how invaluable the basic family structure is—including mothers, fathers, children, grandparents, etc. I wanted our children to internalize that those elected officials in California thought it important enough to recreate traditional families for many foster-care children who had lost all hope.

Greg and I helped our "babies" understand that if children are going to be successful, they always need good mothers and fathers in their lives that possess consistent and correct parenting skills!

We also discussed how the amazing Clark parents taught through their example that selflessness, pure love and endless dedication is needed in raising children well. Those same vital principles also apply to children contributing to the happiness of their families. The 21 loving, responsible, kind and cooperative Clark children were a sight to behold! And I've already hoisted Mary Beth and Scott Clark (the amazing parents) on a pretty sizable pedestal! 😉

Greg and I have talked with our children umpteen times about the great importance of parents having a good marriage, but we pointed it out again because we can never undervalue the fact that a solid, loving marriage is what keeps every family going in the right direction!

Our children understand that while no one is perfect, all of us can try to improve ourselves daily! And after watching those two lovely Turning Point videos, I dearly hope my darlings further internalized that family members really can help each other be happy and become better people!

Gratitude was also a big focus of our night. Greg and I really wanted our children (and us!) to remember to be sooo grateful for our lives and the opportunities we've been given! But we also wanted them to realize that even if people don't have the best upbringing, they can still make good choices and live productive, happy lives!

Most importantly, Greg and I helped our children see that each of us can make a very positive impact in this world! Even though we may feel like our lives are small, or they don't matter much, that's most definitely not the case! Every child, sibling and parent can make a difference in someone else's life—even if it's just our own life for a little while! Yes, sometimes we need to work on ourselves before we can branch out and help someone else. But I believe the ultimate goal of this life is for everyone to be happy and to love and serve others to the very best of our abilities—just like Jesus Christ did. 😊

As you may have guessed, our children weren't too thrilled with Greg and I taking away so much time from their Monday night of technology fun. Yes, my babies were very verbal about their unhappiness with our family home evening decision 😒. Yet I did not care how bothered they were because our FHE was worth every single one of those little frustrations! 😊

I love that I accomplished my goal of carving out our essential family togetherness time—especially when I knew it was going to be a battle to have such a l-o-n-g (in their eyes) family home evening. Yet despite my darlings' complaints, I know our family-focused family home evening bonded us and will be remembered for even longer—and that's what really matters!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, here are the wonderful Turning Point episodes—complete with beautiful, uplifting music(!)—that taught my children so much! *FYI, you can turn off the closed captioning by clicking on the "cc" sign and clicking the "on" to "off."

San Pasqual Academy:



The Clarks:



P.S. Please feel free to use this FHE lesson idea and pass it along to others! I know it will impact your family for the better! 😀 Plus, I'd love the entire world to fully internalize just how important good parenting is! Let's spread the word that there is nothing better than having dedicated, Paramount Parents!

A Remembrance of September 11th

Anyone over the age of 18 most likely remembers September 11th, 2001. Whenever I think of it, my eyes sting with tears a little. Like anyone else, I can instantly go back to that day in my mind. My heart still goes out to the thousands upon thousands of people forever changed by that horrible day.

The very next day, Wednesday, September 12th, I found out I was pregnant with my second child, my lovely daughter. With all of the chaos and uncertainty of America's status, I continually poured out my heart to our Heavenly Father. You see, when I found out I was pregnant, it had only been a little over 24 hours since the awful terrorist tragedy happened to America.

On one hand, I was so excited about Greg and I having another baby! YAY! There is truly nothing as wonderful as a baby being born into a loving family—the beautiful product of a happy marriage! On the other hand, I was so scared of what the future held for America. I was truly terrified that there were terrorists in other places that we didn't know about yet. It was such an awful feeling. I remember thinking, "What have Greg and I done, bringing another child into this wicked world? What if there is nothing but evil, madness, tragedy, and sadness from here on out?" Some of you might think that's way too extreme of a reaction to have, but there were no real answers 24+ hours into our ordeal, and America's citizens were all in shock.

Thankfully, I received my answer very quickly through the Holy Ghost that my daughter was indeed supposed to gain a body through me and be born. Even though none of us had real answers about what was going on with America, I knew everything would be okay for my little family. I knew our Savior would make it right. It was such a peaceful yet sad feeling. I've never forgotten it and I never will.

Even though 9/11, is far behind us, I think it's vitally important that we take time to learn from those who experienced it personally. There are many beautiful life lessons we can learn from others. We must not forget those who died for America!

Thus, I must share this amazing interview produced by the Mormon Channel. I randomly listened Kenneth and Jeanette Howell's story, Episode 32, on Conversations, this past Monday morning. But nothing is ever random, is it? :) I know everything happens for a reason, and my timing of listening to their story couldn't have been better!

Here's the Mormon Channel's description of the interview: Kenneth and Jeanette Howell are the parents of Brady Howell, who was killed when a plane crashed into the Pentagon on 9/11. Through this and the lesser tragedy of losing a home in the 1976 Teton Dam disaster, the Howells have valuable advice to offer on coping with adversity and keeping families close.

The Howells' story is filled with love, optimism, inspiration, and faith. I wish everyone would listen to their wise words! They are an amazing couple.

Lastly, what I remember most about 9/11, is the way Americans pulled together. The strength of America's communities was a wonderful sight to behold. We, as neighbors and friends, became family who would do anything for each other. We looked out for each other's well being. We supported each other with good deeds, hugs, and kind words.

I truly wish we could go back to those early days, post 9/11, when caring and sharing dominated our society. I would take that love over the unkind things we see in real life—but especially on social media—in a heartbeat! My fellow citizens of America, we must do better! No, I'm not trying to sound presidential. ;)  It's just how I feel! We must not be so antagonistic toward those with differing points of views than ours!

Okay, I'll stop before my words get out of control. Just know that my heart broke on 9/11, for I love America and her people with my whole heart and soul! Let's remember those beautiful souls we lost. Let's do better, and be better—not just for them, but for our remaining families, friends and neighbors. We have so much to give to each other!

An Inspiring Pick-Me-Up

Last Thursday morning (March 27th, 2014), as I was getting ready to do our dishes and clean our kitchen/living area, I decided to turn something on to keep my mind entertained. Surprisingly, I wasn't in the mood for "Frasier" which has been my go-to show for the past several weeks. (I love that I'm only 80 episodes into the series! That means I still have 184 hilarious episodes left to watch! Yippee!) Instead, I felt spiritually impressed to turn on one of my top-three favorite Roku channels, the Mormon Channel.

I randomly chose the section, "Conversations," and selected the interviewee, Gary Ceran. I didn't know anything about his story, but the Mormon Channel's description sounded totally intriguing. Here's the link to "Gary Ceran—Episode 13," and the description of the show:

"Early in the morning of one Christmas Eve, Gary Ceran's life was drastically and forever altered. On this day, a terrible traffic accident took the lives of his wife and two of his children. Learn how Gary Ceran dealt with this tragedy on a personal level."

I was enthralled as I listened to Mr. Ceran's story. There were times during the program that I was stunned, saddened, and even cried a few tiny tears. But in those same moments I felt sadness for his situation, I absolutely felt the Spirit (Holy Ghost), too! I was continually inspired during the 84-minute episode, and by its end, I felt a spiritual rejuvenation that I hadn't experienced in several days.

After the program ended, I pondered what I heard. I decided to listen to the entire program again, so I could really internalize what Mr. Ceran is trying to teach the world. I got a lot of work done in my house that day! Yay!

Thus, I decided to share the Ceran family's story with whoever reads my blog. :) I won't divulge the amazing and nearly unbelievable twists and turns that Mr. Ceran has endured in his life, but I will share some of his amazing quotes with you. I imagine these quotes will be handy for those of you who don't have time to hear the entire episode—you'll still be able to be positively influenced by a few nuggets of his wisdom. :)

*Oh, and I listened to sections of the program over and over so I could write down each one of these quotes, so you'd better enjoy them! Ha ha. Just kidding! Ultimately, I'm just grateful to have these for my own personal reference. (I edited them just the smallest smidgen of a bit for readability's sake.)

36:02:

Gary Ceran: "...Some people would expect you to ask, 'Why?' The thing is, most people—when they ask why—they ask why rhetorically, with a clenched fist. It's why with an exclamation point, and not why with a question mark. When you really ask why, the Lord tells you why."

39:02:

Gary Ceran: "You start to say, 'Heavenly Father, you've seen what I will do in this experience, and you know that I will be faithful. You know that I will trust you. Why do I need to go through it again? Is there something that I haven't done? Is there some way I haven't proven myself?'"

 Ruth Todd: "Or didn't learn the last time?"

Gary Ceran: "It's like sooner or later you think, 'Heavenly Father, please help me to get a clue, so that I don't have to do this anymore!'" (On a personal note, I can SO relate to this set of quotes!)

41:48:

Gary Ceran: "Part of what you realize as you go through those experiences, and as you feel that incredible peace 'that surpasses all understanding,' when the Lord comforts you—and you feel encircled about in the arms of love of 10,000 people on each side of the veil—you come to realize how incredibly ridiculous it is to shake your fist at heaven. Because all you can say is, 'Why are you trying to make me more like you?' And it's the reason why we're here!"—to become more like our Father in Heaven! (That last phrase is mine.)

45:48:

Gary Ceran: "It's only if you know the mighty grief that you can know the mighty rapture. Every bit of sorrow stretches out places in the soul for joy. You come to have a depth of feeling that's SO incredible in everything. It's not just that you know sadness that other people may not know, or the same type—or whatever, but you come to feel gratitude..."

 50:06:

Gary Ceran: "Part of it is just trusting in the Lord—just knowing that He loves you, and that every problem will ultimately end."

59:40:

Gary Ceran: "It's been an extraordinary experience when you understand how the Lord shapes you, and molds you through those experiences and teaches you a depth of joy that you couldn't know without them."

Now, if those wonderful quotes haven't convinced you to listen to the program, I'd like to list the subjects I feel this interview covered, or at least touched on (these are in no particular order):

forgiveness
love
marriage
faith
loss of a spouse
loss of a child
mercy
priesthood blessings
prayer
fasting
church
answers
charity
becoming a better person
overcoming adversity
having a righteous influence on others
enduring to the end

Again, here's the link to the "Conversations" program, "Gary Ceran—Episode 13." Enjoy!

Motherhood Mythbusters

One of my strongest-held opinions is that motherhood is one of the greatest gifts in the universe! I believe nothing compares to being a mother—unless you're talking about marriage. :) Because to me, marriage is bliss! Marriage and motherhood go hand in hand. And I'm referring to the traditional definition of marriage, not the "new fangled" definition of marriage that seems to be permeating our society. Yes, in terms of marriage and motherhood, I'm very old-school. :)

Motherhood is the most beautiful, the sweetest, most satisfying and amazing life occupation there is. To be able to create life—to grow a child inside and outside of a womb, and to influence that child's life is simply miraculous. Motherhood gives me the greatest joy! I wouldn't trade my motherhood opportunity for any amount of money or experiences in the world! :)

Last Sunday night, I picked up a large manila envelope from my in-laws house for Greg. You see, Greg's wonderful mother passed away in 2008, and Greg's siblings were finishing clearing out some odds and ends that belonged to all of the children.

In the manila envelope were many papers and pictures for Greg. There was one three-page document that looked like a letter. After I began reading it, I realized that it was a talk (i.e., speech) from Greg's missionary farewell. (We are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The Church doesn't do missionary farewells anymore, but has the new missionary-to-be speak in sacrament meeting as a regular speaker with a chosen topic.) The talk was written by Greg's fabulous mother, Anne. I loved reading her words so very much! It's like I was transported back in time to the very sacrament meeting when I heard Anne give her talk for the first time.

What I found most fascinating, was the sentence where Anne said, "As the baby of the family, I have spent a lot more time with Greg alone than with any of the others." (She meant her other children.) Anne's words echoed endlessly through my mind. As I internalized what I read, I thought, "As far as I'm concerned, her words and Greg's life are an absolute "CONFIRMED" on Motherhood Mythbusters!"

photo credit

Let me further explain what I mean...

I've always felt that the greatest influence in a child's life is his or her parents. Because Greg was the baby of the family, he was able to have more one-on-one time with his mother—her words clearly state that. But what I found most interesting to note is that Greg is one of the best people I know. Although, Greg and I agree that it was very fortuitous that we never met earlier in our lives because we most likely wouldn't have liked each other very much! Ha ha. Apparently, he was quite the handful when he was younger and I wouldn't have put up with it! Greg is such a good person all by himself, but I truly feel that one of the biggest reasons Greg is who he is today is because of the influence of his fabulous mother—brought about by the extended amount of time he spent with her. :)

To continue my feelings about the importance of a mother's influence, I want to share what I discovered while listening to an interview that the Mormon Channel did with Elder Dallin H. Oaks and his wife, Sister Kristen Oaks. (The term elder is a position in our church. The term sister is applied to every female in the church, as a sign of respect—for we are all children of God.) At one point in the interview, Sheri Dew asks the question (at 68:40), "Let's take this now and segue in to the larger discussion, and that is, I know that we would all love to have both of you comment on any particular moments/experiences/patterns that helped you in the development of your testimony [of the gospel of Jesus Christ]."

Elder Oaks replies, "I guess for me, it begins with the great trust that I had in my mother. She was a person of great faith—and at a time when I couldn't say that I knew the gospel was true - I trusted and leaned on her testimony. And because I trusted and leaned on her testimony, I just felt to say, 'Well, I'm just going to try to keep the commandments, and assume that the leaders of the church are inspired, and I'll see how that works out.' And so, it was faith in her that set my feet on the path that led to an individual testimony."

Sheri Dew responded, "The wonderful influence of a fantastic mother."

Elder Oaks, "Umm-hmm..."

Sheri Dew, "Very tender..."

Isn't that so beautiful?! It's heartwarming to hear a grown man revere his mother that way. Her influence on his life was monumental! This was not the only time Elder Oaks spoke so highly of his mother. He has stated, "I was blessed with an extraordinary mother." Thus, I feel my theory about the importance of a mother's influence on her children is concretely backed-up by the very public and excellent life of Dallin H. Oaks. If you want to read his bio, please click here and here. He's one of the most interesting speakers I've ever listened to! :)

I don't know if my theory applies to all children, but I would love to do a study about it! There's always an exception to every rule, but it would be so fun to see if children who spent more time, and quality time, with their mothers did better in life than those who didn't. Since I'm not a scientist or a sociologist or any kind of "ist", I don't have any proof (at least not today!) other than Elder Oaks' statements, Greg's life example, and Anne's words to base my theory on. Yet those examples are enough for me! I think my Motherhood Mythbusters theory is correct! :)

Now I'm thrilled to share Greg's mom's talk that she so lovingly gave at Greg's missionary farewell. I have complete permission from my wonderful husband to share her words with the world. :) I think he likes the fact that her words will live on—I know I do. I miss Anne so much, and I can only imagine that Greg's feelings are just like mine...multiplied by 100.

Without further ado, here is Anne's sacrament meeting talk from September 25th, 1994! Also, the font below is the same as her original document. :)

"Can you believe we are here again? Tiffany forbade me to do this, but Greg hasn't thought to tell me yet, so I'm going ahead with my plan. 

Greg will you come stand by me? 

Will any one who was ever Greg's Primary teacher or the [Primary] president when Greg was in Primary, please stand? Will any one of Greg's Sunday School teachers, Scout leaders, Home Teachers, Priesthood Leaders, Bishop, and Counselors please stand? 

These are just some of the people besides your family who have had the greatest influence on you and have helped to get you to this point. They are also probably surprised that you got to this point. You may be seated. 

We owe you a huge debt of gratitude. No parent can get a young man to this point alone. We appreciate the untold hours you have spent in planning and preparing and being with Greg - in classes, on outings, Scout trips, etc. 

I thought Greg's farewell would be the easier of the two, but I have found myself reflecting on Greg's growing-up years as the baby of the family, I have spent a lot more time with Greg alone than with any of the others. I've been wondering, 'Is he prepared for this next step?' I've decided if Greg will magnify the many talents he has been given, he will be a successful missionary. 

It's been said that a missionary needs the confidence of a tightrope walker, the commitment of a marathon runner, the enthusiasm of a vacuum salesman, and the courage of a mountain climber. Since Greg may not feel he possesses all these traits, I would add: humility, mighty prayer and the spirit of the Holy Ghost.

Greg has tried to portray confidence with his tough guy, macho image that says, 'Outta my way.' I think he's done this so people won't suspect he has deep feelings. He's done a pretty good job of convincing most people. I've even forgotten a few times and fallen for his act. 

[Greg,] Now you need to put your total trust and confidence in Heavenly Father. Remember the oft quoted scripture in 1 Nephi 3:7. [And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.] Remember, Greg, NOTHING is too hard for the Lord. This is where humility comes in. You may not feel confident sometimes, but remember you are on the Lord's errand and he has promised to help you if you do your part and are prepared. Your mission is to help with His mission: that of spreading the gospel and bringing people to Christ. If you are humble, you can be an instrument in God's hands. Any personal shortcomings will fade away when the Spirit enhances your abilities. 

The next point is the commitment. Greg has shown commitment and determination in sports and his schoolwork. If you will apply this same determination to your missionary work, you will be successful. I know many days you've been hot and tired or wet and cold and you've never complained to me - at least that the coach wanted you to run just another play, or do another set on the weights. Then you would come home and do your homework without complaint. Be willing to work this hard, Greg, on your mission. When it's late in the day and you're wet and cold, or hot and tired, finish the street or the apartment building before you quit. 

I'm not sure about the next point: enthusiasm of a vacuum salesman. Greg may have to develop enthusiasm as he develops the courage to spread the gospel. Of course, you could always turn on your charm. It's worked on almost everyone except for Mr. Talbot. I encourage you to be bold in declaring your mission. You will be very visible - I think it's a prerequisite to be at least six feet tall to go to Japan. You've been very vocal in the past about a lot of things. Now you must be vocal in proclaiming the gospel. I know you just hate it when I strike up a conversation with people at the meat counter in the grocery store, but you are going to have to do this very same thing. You will need to be creative in finding ways to introduce the gospel to people. You also cannot look at a person and decide that they can't change. The Spirit can prompt people to receive the truth. Your job is to prayerfully and humbly present your message, and if they are prepared they will accept it. 

You know what it feels like to be a hero and save the game. That incredible rush is indescribable. It feels that same way - only better - to save a soul. Go forth now, Greg, with confidence, commitment, enthusiasm, and courage.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

I am eternally grateful for the influence of Greg's wonderful mother. My life and my children's lives are blessed every day because of the time that Anne selflessly gave to my husband. :)

P.S. Greg's dad, Jim, is every bit as wonderful as Anne. They were such a dynamite couple! Jim had a great impact on Greg's life as well. We are so happy we still get to spend quality time with him and his lovely new wife!