What Are We to Learn From This?

Hello, it's me! Yes, I'm still here nearly 11 months after my previous blog post! I actually began writing this post in February 2020—before the unbelievable COVID-19 pandemic put our entire planet on hold. Then there was the little matter of the 5.7 earthquake and thousands of aftershocks we've experienced here in Utah. And now we're watching protests galore unfold across America and some parts of the world. 😢

To some, this post might seem a little odd to share at this point in our history. Yet I'm publishing what I wrote anyway because I took the time to write it, and I enjoy remembering our lives pre-pandemic, pre-earthquake, and pre need for current protests—because, yes, I dearly wish there were no racism, no inequality, and no injustice anywhere in our world! I want everyone to feel safe, secure, protected, loved, cared for, etc. 😔

Before I continue, please rest assured that everything is great in my little world. 😁 I am so happy, healthy, and loving my days at home with my husband and children! My life is truly beautiful! That said, let's take a little trip to where I've been for the past several years outside of my happy life with Greg and our adorable children...

There's no easy way to start this, so I'll just dive in: In September 2019, my one and only mother married a man that I've never met! And she specifically chose not to tell any of her children, extended family members, or friends that she was going to marry him! 😱 My mom never told a single soul about her wedding plans outside of the man she married and the Nauvoo Temple staff!

There were no cleverly worded invitations, no exciting wedding preparations for my mother's children, grandchildren, sons-in-law, daughter-in-law, siblings, etc., to be involved with. There was no beautiful wedding experience, no reception, nor any kind of happy celebration to enjoy for the people who love and support her. There were no cheesy, adoring, or artistic photos snapped. There are no videos of the "blessed day" to be enjoyed or laughed at by my mother's posterity. There hasn't been any sort of anything that we could happily post to any of our social media accounts. That said, my mom's new husband's family threw them a marriage celebration in Hawaii a few months after their wedding—but none of my mom's family or extended family were invited...including not me. 😢

I found out that my mom married said-man-that-I've-never-met eight days after her wedding and sealing was finalized in the Nauvoo Temple! Adding insult to injury, I found out about my mom's wedding/sealing from my sister—and my sister found out all of that information through a text that my mom sent to my sister and brother! 😣 In my mom's somewhat-defense, she emailed me about her wedding/sealing the very next day after she texted my brother and sister. My mom claims that technology issues were to blame as to why I didn't receive her life-altering text, but the situation hurt my heart more than I can ever express. Because—Hello!—a phone call would have been nice!!! Even now as I read what I wrote, I still cannot believe that my mother did all of that!

Prior to her new marriage, my mom lived off-and-on in her now-husband's house (she had her own separate bedroom) in a different state from us, for about four+ years. So my siblings and I were dealing with all of those continuing challenges even before our mother's unsettling elopement.

While I won't go into great detail, just know that my mom and I were extremely close emotionally speaking before all of this happened. Unfortunately, things have absolutely not been the same between my mother and me since October 2013. It's been such a rough six+ years, you have no idea! I could go on and on and on with maddening details of my childhood family's situation. I could literally write for endless hours about the frustrations, turmoil, heartache, bad dreams, etc., that my mother's actions have caused. I'm sorry if this is too vague for some of you, but there are many things that are too private to share...just don't let your imagination get the better of you.

Suffice it to say, after praying, studying, and researching innumerable articles, podcast episodes, videos, devotionals, and books by wonderful licensed therapists, happy life coaches, amazing religious/spiritual leaders, incredible motivational speakers, uplifting TED Talks, inspiring holy scripture verses, etc., and talking things through with my childhood family and extended family members, friends, and especially my most precious husband, Greg 💖, I am finally at a point where I'm able to somewhat deal with my mother's new life. *But I'll never support nor condone her actions of marrying without including anyone in her joyful occasion besides her new husband. #noiwillnot! 😒

All of that said (yes, there's more 😅) I will never be able to fully express how devastating my mother's actions have been to me, nor can I adequately convey how difficult it was for me to get through those first four+ months after my mom's elopement. And I thought the previous five+ years had been rough! Ha! Unfortunately, they were just the prelude to my childhood family's new reality that repeatedly smacked us in the face like a dying fish out of water! 🎣

While I'm thankful I've mostly turned the corner in terms of coming to accept the shocking reality of my mom's new life—and trying to get used to the spoken-and-unspoken conditions that have been established by her (many of which I absolutely don't agree with)—getting to this point was only possible because of untold hours of researching, listening, talking, writing, praying, and many tears. Even after all of that work, it was only after I realized that I had a version of relationship PTSD—that those in the psychology world define as mother wounds—that I was finally able to pick myself up and start moving forward. I'm so thankful I was finally able to begin grieving my mother and find a way to "deal" with her choices!

Yet as much as I thought I've been making great progress these past additional four+ months, just three nights ago, I had a doozy of a dream that showed just how much my subconscious is still struggling big time with my mother's new life. I was stunned at how revealing and truth-filled my dream was! It makes me tear up when I think about it—but again, I must keep moving forward.

Even last week, my brother, sister, and I had a group text going where we shared our grief at missing our mom and wondering when we would ever get to see her in person again—and it has nothing to do with the COVID-19 pandemic restrictions, as our mother and her new husband are vacationing in another state...that is not where her children live!

To illustrate just how much mothers mean to their children throughout their entire lives, please read this section from The Science of Happiness Podcast, Episode 66—it's a great listen:

Rebecca Vitali-DeCola: My father’s mother died in childbirth with him. And in our first set of questions, there was a question about, like, if you could change one thing about your childhood... ...Anything about the way you were raised. What would it be?

Joe DeCola: My mom. Yeah. I really think she would have been really an interesting woman.

Rebecca Vitali-DeCola: Yeah.

Joe DeCola: And a really good thing in my life.

.....

Rebecca Vitali-DeCola: [His mom] was so central in his narrative. There was a moment, and I think in set three, I think where it’s like, "If your apartment is burning and you can get all the people you love out and pets out of it, but you had to, like, go back for one material item, one possession. Like, what would you run back for in a fire?" And he said "This, you know, photograph I have of my mom." And yeah, I mean, I just kept crying. I could not stop crying, listening to him talk. And I didn’t know that. I mean, and that’s very significant. So, yeah, that was a revelation. It was just really poignant. He’s you know, he’s 82 and he never met her. And she still occupies such an important part of his life and consciousness.

Oh, how that story tugs at my heart strings! 😥 It's amazing that an 82-year-old man can still miss his mother that much! It makes me feel better knowing that my siblings and I aren't the only ones who are so attached to their mom. Mothers and fathers really do make the world go 'round!

Obviously, there are many sides to every story. My mom has her version of her dating/marriage story, too. My entire childhood family and my mom's siblings each have their individual perspectives about what occurred with my mom's new relationship and marriage.

*So, to anyone reading this blog post, just know that I dealt with my mom's situation in the best ways I knew how—and I was always trying to improve myself while processing everything! I tried so very hard throughout the past six+ years to do and be the best that I could for my parents, siblings, and myself. Regardless of anyone else's life experiences, no one can ever fully understand what I've been through, so I hope you will proceed with compassion and empathy toward me. My broken heart thanks you. 😔

While working through my issues with my mom's elopement and her new marriage, I pondered various coping mechanisms I could utilize. One of the best ways for me to process life is by writing. Yes, journal writing is always a great idea, but blogging is my absolute favorite! 💛

Thus, I felt a strong desire to share my thoughts and feelings about my "mother issues" through my blog. I even drafted a few blog posts about my mom and her situation over the past year+ (including before she eloped), but they remain unpublished. After being reprimanded by my sister because she felt a blog post about nearly everything in our situation was too hurtful, I decided to do more research.

Not publishing my previous blog drafts about my mother and her dating/marriage situation was probably a good idea. It's no surprise that I can be feisty and "cutting" with my words if I want to. Most of the time, my words are lovely, uplifting, and kind. But I was so emotionally hurt by my mother that I was more than ready to let my pain and suffering explode like words spewing from the Hoover Dam! #noshame! Oh, the stories I could tell would make your head spin! Even though it would have felt really great to unload my feelings like that, it's probably best that I didn't publish my explosive sentences! 😄

While researching, I was so happy to read in several online sources that many experts state that sharing our personal stories is super helpful for each of us. Sharing our stories really does make us better people and might even help others learn something new in the process! I immediately felt relief and decided to compose a blog post that served not only my emotional healing, but one that could possibly help prevent others from making some of the mistakes I've endured (due to others' choices) over the past several years. Yay for story sharing days! 😁

By the way, it feels incredibly great to finally be blogging again! 👏🏻 I've wanted to blog about endless topics over the past few years, but I was so torn up inside about the situation with my mom that I just couldn't go there. Plus, I spent quite a bit of my free time trying to process everything, so I truly didn't have it in me to blog about all of my issues until now. I'm so happy to be posting on Enthusiastic Fantastic again! 😁

Here's what I've learned from my childhood family's issues—from my earliest memories, to literally today—in no particular order:

• If you are a parent, you must be the parent for your child no matter how old you or your child are. Don't "reverse" the roles of parent and child! Every child needs and deserves their parents until the day they die. Even in the afterlife (I believe in the postmortal spirit world), parents should be watching over and helping their children to the extent possible. I truly believe the role of parent continues throughout eternity. *A sweet example of parents always being there for their children in the proper parenting roles was shown in episode 10, season 6 of Madam Secretary. Stevie (First Daughter) is sitting between her parents, Elizabeth (Madam President) and Henry (First Gentleman), in the presidential limousine on the way to her wedding:

Elizabeth: So sweet of you, by the way, to drive with Dad and me. That means a lot. It's very sweet. Thank you.

Stevie: Yeah, well, I, um...I thought that it would give us a chance to talk.

Henry: Absolutely, What's on your mind?

Elizabeth: Listen, sweetheart, no matter how old you get or how many kids of your own you have, you can always come to us with anything, about anything.

The scene continues in funny banter between spouses, parents, and child, but it fully illustrates the point that parents should remain a significant, devoted source of comfort, safety, and love throughout their child's life. *As a side note, I'm super bummed that Madam Secretary was canceled! ☹

• Regardless of how your child is acting/behaving, you must always show up as your child's parent! Unless a parent has a significant impairment that prevents them from understanding that they are a parent, parents should always rise above and be the good parent their child deserves. *If you have questions as to how to be a good parent, take the necessary time to learn, be humble enough to make needed changes, and then continually put forth your best efforts to become the wonderful parent your child deserves. It's never too late! Start today! Change happens the instant you decide!
• Realize how incredibly important you are to your child. There is nothing that can ever replace the importance of a parent in a child's life. Parents are absolutely paramount! Of course, nearly every child will one day create their own life, but they still need their parents no matter their age or the level of success they achieve!
• Create good, healthy relationships and support systems within your family, friends, and community. Then, when you're struggling—because we all struggle at times throughout our lives—make sure you reach out to that support system you've created to help you work through your issues. Never put your child in the role of "therapist" unless they are a fully grown adult who is happily established in their own life. Even then, use caution with how much you rely on your child; keep your child as your first priority in your relationship with them. If you're really in a jam and can't seem to unscramble the mess, find a well-credentialed therapist who will help you figure everything out—it will benefit you, your entire family, and your posterity.
• Give your loved ones a heads up if you are going to elope! There is never any excuse good enough to justify not sharing your upcoming wedding news with those closest to you. That doesn't mean you need to include people in your wedding day specifically, you can totally have a private wedding, but you should definitely clue them in as to what's about to happen! *I recently read this lovely story about an older couple that found true love during the COVID-19 pandemic. I ate up every word about the darling couple and daydreamed about how amazing it would have been if my mom had simply given me the opportunity to somehow be involved in her engagement and wedding. 😢
• Do your utmost best in choosing your spouse. Look at every characteristic possible to determine if you two are a match. Spend ample time fully communicating about everything relevant to your future marriage and family. Don't leave any topic to chance! You don't want to discover a deal-breaker after you've already made the serious, life-changing commitment to your spouse. Then, do everything within your power to help create and sustain a happy, loving, long-term marriage and family! Marriage depends on both spouses continually giving their very best to each other—including forgiveness! 💛
• Unless there is abuse happening, stay married to your chosen spouse! Love each other wholeheartedly, unselfishly, and unconditionally throughout this life and into the next! Your first spouse should be your only spouse! Divorce should be your very last option after every other resource has been exhausted. Only resort to divorce if your marriage is truly "dead" beyond recovery. For further thoughts on this, please read this wonderful talk, "Divorce," by Dallin H. Oaks. *I fully understand there are certain situations that warrant divorce. I'm not saying that divorce should never happen. I'm just saying that every couple should try their very best to make their marriage happy, healthy, and loving, and then stay married!

So, where am I emotionally today? Well, I'm feeling a lot better compared to the emotional "bomb" I experienced in September, 2019, that's for darn sure! Obviously, blogging isn't the perfect answer to work through issues, by any means, but writing out and sharing my story has definitely helped—so thank you for reading! 😊

I still haven't met my new stepfather (not even virtually or via phone call!) and I don't know if or when that will happen. That feeling totally sucks, but I'm getting used to it. I know...that's complete and utter craziness, but it's the truth.

Now, on to a few happier things:

The fantastic news is, I've paid to have my domain name remain active for Enthusiastic Fantastic through 2029! Woohoo and yippee skippee! I find great satisfaction in knowing that my blog will live on for at least another nine+ years—it gives me true joy! 🤩

And I must share these happy photos that my children took of Greg and me on Mother's Day, 2020! My children know that one of the very best gifts they can give me are photos! 📸 Greg, our three darlings, and I spent quite a bit of time posing and taking photos as my main Mother's Day gift. We had the best time together! 💛💙🧡💚💜

I'm so very thankful for my amazing family—that literally exists because Greg and I fell eternally in love! 😍 Greg and I are 100% committed and faithful to each other, and I'm beyond grateful that our family reaps the benefits of our happy, healthy marriage every single day!

Greg & Adrie Peterson 💙💛 05/10/2020 🥰

Greg and I were acting like robots for this one! #robotdancers! Ha ha 😂

*02/15/2021—Update:

Things are getting a tiny bit better in my childhood family. I've had a smidgen of contact with my new stepfather—both through kind holiday/birthday cards and gifts, and a couple of text messages. But no, I still haven't met him in person, nor have I talked with him over the phone or even virtually. I really don't know if or when any of that will ever happen, and it's confusing.

My mom and I have had several more talks via phone call and the Marco Polo app; we're working on this new normal of our family dynamic. I'm bummed I haven't seen her in one-and-a-half years, and I don't know if/when I'll see her in person again. 😔 Overall, it's still a difficult situation for me, but the difficulty has lessened a little as time passes. I wish I had better news for this unbelievable situation, but it is what it is!

Just Say "NO!" to Mark Zuckerberg

Guess what?! I finally and thoroughly said "NO!" to Mark Zuckerberg! And just how did I say no to the all-powerful Zuck, you ask? Simply by deleting my Facebook account! 👏😃 I'm also leaving Instagram, but that process is taking longer to complete than it took for me to delete my Facebook account—more on that to come.

You might wonder why I suddenly decided to delete Facebook after all of these years, and leave my beloved Instagram. Well, it's because I read a lot of articles that share just how much Facebook and now Instagram have messed with our society. It's not good news! If you're interested, here are the articles I read that solidified my decision:

"Facebook Stored Millions Of User Passwords In Plain, Readable Text"

"Instagram Is the Internet’s New Home for Hate
As other social networks wage a very public war against misinformation, it's thriving on Instagram."

"Facebook’s Data Deals Are Under Criminal Investigation"

"Instagram posts encouraging eating disorders are 'spiralling out of control,' psychiatrists warn"

"Facebook won’t let you opt out of its phone number ‘look up’ setting"

"Facebook and Instagram Going Dark Should Be a Wake Up Call for Entrepreneurs

Social media is a tool you use. Your website and your email list are assets you own."

"Opinion: Facebook crumbles around its lonely king
Shareholders gave Mark Zuckerberg all the power, and now watch as top executives walk away from his iron-fisted rule"

"Why Facebook waited 3 months to disclose its latest privacy screw-up"

"I Deleted Facebook Last Year. Here’s What Changed (and What Didn’t).

Our personal tech columnist didn’t lose touch with his true friends — but strange things did occur, including Instagram thinking he was a woman."

Also, in late 2018, I watched Frontline's documentary, "The Facebook Dilemma," and it definitely had an influence on my #deleteFacebook! decision. I highly recommend watching Frontline's entire presentation! ⭐

What's crazy is that those articles are just a sampling of the negative press about Facebook! Instagram didn't used to have much bad press, but since it was bought by Facebook, I've seen IG in the press more and more and it's not good news. Oh, how I wish Instagram had never sold-out to Facebook! 👎 That said, let's continue with my story. 😊

On March 23rd, 2019, I logged back into Facebook for the first time in four years so I could finally delete my account once and for all! (I deactivated my account on March 9th, 2015.)

Let me tell you, logging back in to Fakebook was the strangest moment I've had in the past four years! It was so odd seeing very familiar parts of FB, but there were also new things I wasn't familiar with. I read the instructions as to how to download all of my data and permanently delete my Facebook account; it took me a while to figure everything out.

While I waited to get my Facebook account's data download, I looked at several people's pages that I hadn't had contact with since I left that blue and white world. I was surprised to see that a couple of my friends had new babies, and several friends had moved to new homes, but everything else in everyone else's lives pretty much fell in line with their posts from four+ years ago.

It was so interesting to note that all of my Facebook friends and family (that I don't have continuous/regular contact with) basically stayed the same—meaning, we are who we are! Good, bad, or indifferent, we fundamentally don't significantly change over the years! It really was such a fascinating "experiment" on my end! I'm actually really glad I was able to experience my own version of a "social scientist study" by being active on Facebook, then deactivating my account, and later going back on it for a couple of hours!

What surprised me the most about my adventure of logging back in to Facebook is how much time I spent there! 😬 I pulled up many pages of people I wanted to check up on, so that took time in and of itself. Yet I never could have predicted my many random clicks—i.e., my wonderings about other people who showed up on my friends/family members pages—and how long my "inquiries" took to resolve! 😆

I really "fell down" the Facebook Rabbit Hole and it was nothing close to a happy Wonderland! Ha ha. It was a stark reminder of how Facebook is/was not good for me—it's a HUGE time waster!

*Please let me clarify that the people I care about aren't a waste of time. It's just that the way Facebook is set up is meant to make us waste as much time on there as possible, which is not good for us. If you'd like concrete evidence of that fact, read this statement from New York Media's Intelligencer article, "Sean Parker: We Built Facebook to Exploit You": 

"Parker explained just how he and the other early Facebookers built the platform to 'consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible.'"

Sean's statement makes me cringe and get a pit in my stomach! It's terrible what the Facebook machine has purposely and very knowingly done—and continues to do—to our society!

If you'd like to hear more from Sean Parker's interview, watch this video that also includes an interview with Chamath Palihapitiya, an early senior executive at Facebook

Sean Parker, Chamath Palihapitiya - Facebook is 'Ripping Apart Society'

*As a warning, be aware that Chamath uses strong language—i.e., swear/cuss words which I can't stand!

When it came down to actually deleting my Facebook account, I double checked everything very carefully. I made sure I had all of my data because those posts/messages/comments were important memories from my family's history! 💖 Once I was certain that my data download was complete, I clicked the blue box that said "⚠ Delete Account"! It was such an amazing feeling to click that button, you have no idea! Wow, talk about an adrenaline rush! 👏😃

Okay, that might seem like a strange reaction to have, but knowing I still had a Facebook account—even though it was deactivated—was always in the back of my mind, and it bothered me! I felt like a hypocrite because I so did not support Facebook and all of the problems it's introduced into our society, yet I still owned my deactivated account! 😬 By continuing to have a deactivated Facebook account, I wasn't living congruently to my soul. Thus I was so very happy to rectify my incongruous situation by finally deleting my Facebook account! Yay yay happy day! 😁

*In my estimation, my previous Facebook account has now been deleted from our universe for two-and-a-half weeks! Woohoo! 👊

Deciding to also delete my private Instagram account was a bit more difficult for me. I absolutely loved my time on Instagram over the past five years—I joined on February 26th, 2014—and I knew I'd deeply miss it. 😥 Yet after reading all of the articles I listed above, and knowing how Instagram has fundamentally changed for the worse since Facebook gained control, I knew what I had to do.

When I downloaded my private Instagram account's data, I was extremely disappointed to find that Instagram doesn't put your photos and captions in the same files! In fact, I couldn't even find all of my photo captions! They seemed to be hidden away deep within my data download, and the only way I could access them was to download my captions' file folder contents to a sketchy online program that converted them into an Excel spreadsheet which I then had to re-download.

I later discovered that that online conversion program downloaded a tracking virus to my computer, too. Boo! 😠 Thankfully, I eradicated the virus from my computer. But even when the sketchy online conversion program separated out my captions into the Excel spreadsheet, some of my captions were still missing—which ticked me off!

After all of the time and effort I spent downloading my Instagram world, I realized that this manipulation of our data is yet another devious Facebook tactic meant to keep its users hooked and brainwashed every day! But I will not fall for it! No, I will not! #feistyAdrie 😇

Thus, as much as I was so giddy to also delete my private Instagram account right away, it will have to wait for a future day hopefully not too far away. For now, I need to work on copying/pasting all of my photo captions into a Word document. Unfortunately, my captions won't match up exactly with my photo files as Instagram's data download just groups them by month 😞, but at least I'll have them!

Greg suggested that I create a private blog to post our photos and captions there, but that would take up entirely too much of my time as I have 950 private Instagram posts and multiple photos on many of them! So yeah, at this point, I'd rather have a journal-type document and keep it in the same computer file as my Instagram photos. It's not a perfect system, but it's better than not having my captions at all!

You see, I absolutely loved writing photo captions on my Instagram posts! It really helped me remember all of the wonderfulness or frustration of each day or experience that I posted about. Plus, I just love love love words!!! #EnthusiasticFantastic! 😁 So yes, a big part of the reason I loved contributing on Instagram was because of the wordy details I shared there. I love composing captions! 💛

And yes, I fully know that blogging is the best way to share large amounts of words, which is why I'm currently in the process of retraining my brain to come blog at my computer rather than composing and posting via my smart phone. It's been a long process to eradicate the "addictiveness" of Instagram from my daily life, but I'm totally getting there! I am making progress in my Instagram-free efforts! Yay! A fabulous quote I heard last night (while listening to a wonderful BYU Devotional, "Wrestling with Comparisons" by J.B. Haws—go listen to it right now! 😀) really helps me solidify that writing on my blog is one of the best things I can do:

"Writing makes an exact man."
– Francis Bacon

I absolutely love that quote and couldn't agree more! Yes, writing makes me an exact woman! #choosetowrite! 😁

Here are some of my Instagram side notes: my final post was on April 3rd, 2019; I completely deleted the app from my phone; I no longer scroll my feed; and copying/pasting my many photo captions into a Word doc will be one of my summertime projects of 2019!

Guess what else?! I have even more information to share about why we should just say "NO!" to Mark Zuckerberg and get off all of the social media platforms Facebook controls. Are you ready for this?! 😃

A little while after I started my Facebook account deletion process, I saw this incredible new TED Talk given by Carole Cadwalladr at TED's April, 2019 conference—it's an absolute must-watch!

"Facebook's role in Brexit — and the threat to democracy"

Around that same time, I stumbled upon this article that deeply disturbed me 😧:

"Inside the Secret Facebook War For Mormon Hearts and Minds"

Here is the gist about what one former member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints did to his family members and friends, and the other people whose family/friends signed up for his "services" online via personalized Facebook ads—it's utterly appalling to me! I just can't believe that Facebook allows such blatant targeting of its users!

"...The project was called MormonAds, and it was a brief but perhaps unprecedented experiment in targeted religious dissuasion. In four months at the end of 2017, the project targeted more than 5,000 practicing Mormons with messages painstakingly crafted to serve as gentle introductions to the messier elements of LDS history that were glossed over within the church. All the names and email addresses for the campaign came from disillusioned ex-Mormons.

"...Jones had a working knowledge of Facebook's ads tool through his business, and he knew that he could precision target an ad to a custom audience as small as 20 people. All he needed were their email addresses. 'If I target my family with ads, then I’m not the apostate messenger,' he said. 'Maybe they’ll look at it or read it. If they knew what I knew about Mormon history, they’d understand why I left the church.'"

Based on that article alone, it's clear that Facebook is not safe for any of us! Facebook is not our friend in any way, shape, or form! We should run as far and as fast as we can away from Facebook's creepy alternate universe!

All of the information I've shared in this post would have easily been enough, but yesterday morning, I was introduced to two additional, shocking articles that further support my stance that we should all delete our Facebook and Instagram accounts immediately! I highly recommend reading both of them as they will blow your mind! 💣💥 I hope they will convince you to strongly say "NO!" to Mark Zuckerberg, too! #justdoit! #justsayNO!

The New York Times

Opinion

"It's Time to Break Up Facebook"

The Verge

"THE TRAUMA FLOOR

The secret lives of Facebook moderators in America"

If we want anything to change within our social media atmosphere, we must band together and stand up for what is right and true! You might think I'm overreacting, but I know I'm not. The future of our society for generations to come depends on what we all do right now! We cannot wait for some government to change our social media climate! Only we can make that positive change that needs to be made!

With every bit of seriousness I can muster, please understand that (from everything I've read, watched, and listened to) Mark Zuckerberg certainly will NOT be the positive and righteous change agent for our world. No, Zuck is fully looking to keep his world domination and has zero intentions of ever stepping down from his data-driven, citizen-powered throne! Furthermore, the many Facebook executives and employees won't step up and make the necessary changes either because they're all enjoying their vast amounts of money entirely too much—money that they've all made from us wasting our precious time on their addictive and destructive apps!

So, you might be wondering where I will go in our social media universe, as there aren't too many options outside of Facebook's empire. It's true, I'm definitely not going to give up social media all together just because of a few really bad apples in the basket. Thus, after doing a lot of research, I decided to join Flickr! Yay Flickr! 😀

I really like that Flickr was sold by Yahoo in 2018 to a conscientious, family-owned company named SmugMug. Based on what I've researched, Flickr is now all about its users': photographs; experience on Flickr; connection with people they want to be connected to; and privacy!

I also love the fact that I can pay for Flickr Pro(!) and get the following, "Unlimited storage, ad-free browsing, advanced stats, and more." I am so interested in unlimited storage, and especially in an advertisement-free(!) Flickr experience! Yes, I am totally willing to pay a small fee for social media freedom from constant advertisements and insane invasions of my privacy!

If you're interested, here's more information about the Flickr/SmugMug partnership:

SmugMug + Flickr Frequently Asked Questions

About Flickr

Flickr Help

Flickr FAQs

*In case you're wondering, no, I have not been asked to promote Flickr in any way. I've not been contacted by Flickr to sign up, share my thoughts, nor anything close to that. I'm simply sharing my opinion on what I think is currently the best replacement for Instagram and Facebook.

The only problem is, I can't get any of my friends to sign up on Flickr with me because they're all so in love with Instagram and Facebook! (They're probably also "addicted" to IG and FB to some extent.) #sosadface! 😢 My dearest mom and sweet auntie have both signed up on Flickr (Thank you, darling ladies!) and we're now following each other, but we're it! Oh, how I would love it if my other family members and friends joined me on Flickr!

Here are my stats for my other social media accounts:

I don't plan to ever quit Twitter unless something really crazy happens in the future. I haven't used Twitter a lot yet, as I've been super busy lately, but that awesome time will come in the future where I'll be sharing my blog post links to Twitter on a regular basis! Yay yay happy Twitter days! 😄 I've researched Twitter's CEO, Jack Dorsey, and while he seems a little extreme in some of his personal views and habits, I feel much better about him and his leadership capabilities than I ever did about Mark Zuckerberg. Maybe I'll just refer to Jack as being a little eccentric...as we all are in our own ways! 😉

I will totally keep my Pinterest and LinkedIn accounts, too. I share my blog post links on Pinterest, but I also love posting the many additional articles, videos, and podcasts I feel are worth sharing and referring back to. I'm not super active on LinkedIn, but I absolutely understand the tremendous value of being a member on LinkedIn! It is a great networking tool!

And of course, I will continue sharing here on Enthusiastic Fantastic! It is and will remain my main internet and social media love forever! 😄 Unless something catastrophic happens to me or the world wide web, I will always keep posting here!

Finally, I understand that many of you will choose to stay connected via Facebook and Instagram indefinitely, which is totally your right and privilege. I won't hold your choices against you—I promise! 😘 We are all so blessed to have the God-given gift of free agency! Each of us gets to choose how we live our marvelous miraculous lives and spend our precious beautiful days. 💗 But we are also subject to the consequences of our many actions—be they good, bad, or boring. 😉 Thus, we must be satisfied with the choices we make, for it is terrible to be filled with regret! Yes, I'm so happy that I choose to live my life free of regrets every day!

My sincere hope is that each of us as individuals, and our society as a whole, will wake up to this mess Mark Zuckerberg has created and be the positive change that makes our world a better place for everyone!

Have a great day making your best choices! 😘

Goodbye, 2016

I don't have a specific reason for blogging today, other than to write! 😀 The past nine vacation days have been so great! From beautiful Christmas celebrations, to my "graduation" of in-office physical therapy (I'm SO excited to have that expensive habit deleted from my budget!!!), to unlimited time with my favorite people (Greg and our three children!) and endless reading of interesting and inspiring articles and blog posts (I pinned all the good stuff I found!), I feel completely rejuvenated and happy!

One of the happiest things I experienced this Christmas/New Year's week is when my husband surprised me with my biggest Christmas present: a new flat-screen TV for our unfinished laundry room! No, his gift to me didn't signify that I was slacking in my laundry duties (thankfully, he's not that kind of guy!), it's simply been a desire of mine ever since we moved back to Utah, and he was so sweet to make my wish come true! 😊

I had been using our old-school, enormous tube TV and it worked very nicely at helping me not be bored while folding laundry, but it definitely cut into my laundry-folding space—it literally took up about one third of the table. So when we cleared off the table (of all my filing projects) and set up my new TV, I was beyond excited because I had so much extra space! Plus, we used Greg's old computer monitor stand, so it made my view even better(!)—because my folded laundry piles won't get in the way!

After getting my table all set up, I realized that I needed to reconfigure my large wire shelving unit of laundry supplies. Previously, my laundry-folding TV had faced away from my washer/dryer, so I could only listen to it as I was loading the washer/dryer. But because my new flat-screen is so flat (hallelujah!), I positioned it so I can actually see it while folding laundry and loading/unloading my washer/dryer! So yeah, I made sure my wire shelf is nice and open so I can easily see my TV now!

I happily hooked up my old-school DVD/VCR combo and was thrilled that the connection actually worked on my new digital TV! Yay for technology! And yay me! for actually figuring it all out! Ha ha. At first, I was a little concerned it might not work, as it took a few minutes to get everything just right.

Yet I really couldn't believe my good fortune that my eight-year-old, very inexpensive RCA digital antenna (from when TV switched from analog to digital) actually picked up 37 channels(!)—and in our dungeon of a basement, nonetheless! Even though my TV showed it was picking up channels as it scanned, I was trying not to get my hopes up because I didn't want to be disappointed when my TV channels didn't work. Thus, I was near-tears (happy ones, of course!) when my TV channels all worked and the signal was completely and perfectly crisp! Yay yay happy day!

I watched "Gone With the Wind" for quite a while yesterday and loved every minute of it! Then I switched to regular television when I realized that our local PBS station was binge-broadcasting "Downton Abbey"! Can you say, "happy"?! #that'sme!

Needless to say, my laundry is completely caught up—which is a holiday miracle! 😄 I had a major laundry party in my basement yesterday, and I honestly had no desire to leave and go do something else!

Yes, my Gregor gets major Good Husband Points! for his thoughtful gift! Plus, I'll never forget how he totally surprised me on Christmas morning! I had no idea about my TV—which is saying a lot because I usually see everything that goes in or out of our house! Well, it was easier for him to get away with his surprise because he used a gift card he had earned from work—otherwise, I would have seen his purchase on our bank statement. Yep, Greg and I both win because of his sneaky generosity! Ha ha. #thesneakygifter

Another reason I'm so happy today is because I talked with my amazingly awesome 92-year-old Grandpa Charles for 39 minutes this morning! He is just one of my most favorite people on the planet and I'm grateful he took time for me today.

One of the fun tidbits about my paternal grandparents is the fact that they spent a lot of time getting to know each other in their high school journalism class. My Grandpa Charles was an excellent writer and my Grandma Ardis was their class' perfect typist. They were both the best in their class and their teacher's favorite students—I read their yearbook and their journalism teacher wrote as much! I strongly believe their love story needs to be written one day, but I don't know which one of their children/grandchildren/great grandchildren are going to be lucky enough to write it. Even if their actual life stories aren't all written, they inspire me to want to write a historical-fiction love story, for sure! 😊

This morning, I picked my grandpa's brain about journalism and today's crazy media. Grandpa Charles shared some wise words for our overly-editorialized media:

• Tell it like it is.
• Don't slant the news toward one side.
• Stay away from sources with lobbyists trying to influence news production.
• Realize that we, as individuals, can't change the media—it needs to change from journalists with integrity from inside each organization.
• Research every news story we are interested in, or want to believe. See if what we believe matches up with what they're reporting.
• Prophets have predicted the chaos and destruction of our day. We shouldn't be surprised it's here. We need to stay strong, despite what's going on in the world.
• Opinions are okay to have, but people should present them up front as such, and not present them as fact.

Grandpa Charles continued his thoughts on our media today and how it influences us:

• In the 50s, we didn't have instant access to the news like we do today. We had to wait for the 6:00 news, and even then, we didn't have every bit of information like we do now. Maybe we went along a little ignorant, but we were blissful because we only had our own lives to worry about.
• We can't save the world, but we can pray for all the people who are suffering.
• We need to realize that other people's trials are theirs, not ours. We didn't cause their suffering, so we can't let their suffering get us down when we watch or read the news.
• We're all the result of our heredity and those things that happened in the past. We're not responsible for those things, either. All we can do is try our best to make our lives better [and better the lives of those around us].
• People nowadays don't understand freedom. You don't understand what freedom really is until you're without it. I went into the Navy and suddenly I didn't have my full freedom anymore because I "belonged" to the government. People today need to understand how good they have it.
• Our church does an amazing job of helping those in need. We are trying to do our part.

I wrote down a lot of my Grandpa Charles' thoughts today because his perspective is invaluable to me! 😊 He's seen so much in his 92 years on this earth! While he never went to college, Grandpa Charles is extremely intelligent. He's worked hard his entire life, and still maintains more than an acre of his five-acre property in beautiful Idaho all by himself! (The rest of his property is just weeds and rocks, so it doesn't need to be maintained.)

My grandpa is quite the writer, too—he wrote a book of poetry back-in-the-day(!), so I truly value his input when it comes to journalism/media and writing. Plus, Grandpa Charles never stops reading! As a child, I remember he was always reading something—Reader's Digest, other magazines, endless books, and scriptures—in his kitchen's corner-comfy-chair!

Grandpa Charles always has something interesting or funny to say. I can't adequately express how much I love the fact that Grandpa Charles positively contributes to every conversation without being intrusive or demeaning in any way. He basically makes everyone feel loved, valued, and like they are more than worth spending time with! My little family and extended family have been so blessed to have his example and influence in our lives!

Thus, today, it was quite the treat when (3/4 of the way into our conversation) Grandpa Charles said, "Speaking of journalism, you should write a book!" Shocked at his statement, I said, "Really?! What would I write about?!" He said, "I don't know, maybe your thoughts on life? You're just so positive and inspiring, you should write a book and influence other people!"

I about jumped through the phone and hugged my dear Grandpa Charles! He will honestly have no idea how much his words mean to me! I will never forget our happy conversation for as long as I live! 😁

I replied, "Well, Grandpa, I do write a blog—have you ever looked at it before?"—knowing full well that I've emailed him links to my blog posts more than a dozen times! And I included my blog's link in our Christmas newsletter this year! Ha ha. He said, "Nope, I've never seen your blog. I try to say away from that scary computer!" 😂

Could you "die" at how hilarious my Grandpa Charles is?! I explained why I blog, and what I hope to accomplish by doing so. He supportively agreed with my writing efforts and was so happy to hear I'm sharing my thoughts with the world! :) Yay! By the way, is "supportively" even a word? It sounds all right to me, but I couldn't really find a standard definition of it online...

After my delightful conversation with Grandpa Charles, I've decided that I'm going to print off one of my blog posts ("My Pioneer Sacrament Meeting Talk"—because it includes portions of our family history) and mail it to him! If he likes it, I'll print off and mail another post every-so-often for his reading enjoyment! I'm only slightly concerned that Grandpa Charles will be bothered by all of my typos/grammatical errors, but I'll survive because he's so awesome! 😇

The other huge bit of good news that I've been sailing on since December 19th is that Greg had a perfect colonoscopy! We'd both been more than worried because Greg's extended family has colon polyps in their genetics—on both his maternal and paternal lines. Not to mention, one of our family tragedies is that his mom, Anne, died from colon cancer at age 65. I was genuinely concerned that Greg would not only have multiple polyps, but that said polyps could be pre-cancerous, or even cancerous. I shudder to revisit my worries about Greg's colonoscopy!

So it was truly the best Christmas gift we could have received when Greg's procedure concluded without a flaw! His doctor gave us photos of Greg's colon and it was completely clear! In fact, Greg's colon looks better than anything I've ever seen online—and I've seen a lot of colons because I sadly researched colon cancer for five years while Anne was suffering from it. So when I say, "Greg literally has THE PERFECT COLON!" I really mean it! Ha ha.

It's become quite the joke when I greet Greg with, "How does it feel to be the man with the perfect colon?!" or "I hope my colon is as perfect as yours when I have my colonoscopy!" And sometimes I shout, "Greg has the perfect colon!" or I tickle him and say, "Ahh! Your colon is so perfect!" I could go on, but I'll spare you. 😉

The part of Greg's colonoscopy—and all that went with it—I won't ever forget is what happened right before we left for the hospital. I'd been praying for days about his procedure (there can be significant side effects), and wanted to sneak in one more prayer. After I finished my prayer, the Holy Ghost told me, "Greg will be completely fine. There will be no polyps. There will be no cancer. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

In that moment, I was shocked at what had been revealed to me—but I believed it because I felt such utter peace and comfort accompanying my spiritual experience. I knew that my inspiration had come from the Holy Ghost because I had been nervous all week, and there's no way I could suddenly become completely peaceful all by myself—especially when I had been so worried for so long.

I found it interesting that the Spirit didn't say anything to me about the colonoscopy procedure itself—and the possibility of the doctor nicking his colon, as they describe in their warning literature. But logically speaking, if there aren't any polyps or cancer to be found in Greg's colon, there wouldn't be a need for any nipping/cutting in the first place! 😀 So it makes perfect sense that the Holy Ghost wouldn't say anything specific about Greg's procedure! Right?!

Having those wonderful, peaceful thoughts pop suddenly into my mind made me excited and happy because I knew they were not my own thoughts. Besides, if I had come up with thoughts about Greg's colonoscopy on my own, I would have thought for sure that he would have had polyps, or the early stages of diverticulitis—as his brother had trouble with that condition in the past.

The greatest part was being able to go with Greg to his colonoscopy without fear. I was calm and it was so easy(!) for me to wait for Greg to return from his procedure. I wasn't a nervous wreck and my waiting time passed very quickly! I give complete props to the Holy Ghost for preparing me in the perfect way—nothing could have calmed me down like He did! :)

Yes, I love the spiritual experiences I'm given by our Heavenly Father. The marvelous, heavenly gift of the Holy Ghost is one I've never taken for granted and will cherish forever! The Comforter truly is evidence of our Heavenly Father's and Savior's love for us. They want us to know we are not alone in our life journeys, and the Holy Ghost perfectly testifies of that glorious fact with His endless presence in our lives! And, as Moroni 10:5 states, "And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things." I 100% believe that scripture because my experience with Greg's colonoscopy was precisely that!

Here's a photo from my extended family's Christmas celebration—two days before Greg's colonoscopy. I wanted to document our happy Christmas in the event he received not-great news that next Monday. Thank goodness we're still smiling...because everything is awesome! 😀

Well, my time is up for today, I need to go be a productive mama again. But I've greatly enjoyed my blogging time and I can't wait to come back again soon! Happy New Year to you and yours! 🎉🎇🎊

Family-Focused Family Home Evening

For my family's family home evening this past Monday night, I chose two of BYUTV's amazing Turning Point episodes for us to watch: San Pasqual Academy and The Clarks.

After watching those two inspiring videos on my own, I felt so strongly that my children absolutely needed to learn life lessons from those sweet children in California's foster care system, and especially from the wonderful Clark family. And I knew that our family home evening was the perfect opportunity for us to learn together! 😊

While those Turning Point episodes show the immense value of solid/good personal relationships, they especially point out the vast importance of families—which begin from having good parents (and grandparents, whenever possible)!

When my family finished watching San Pasqual Academy and The Clarks, Greg and I had a fairly long conversation with our children about life.

Greg and I reminded our children how incredibly blessed we are to have each other in our very own eternal family! We already have everything those darling foster-care children were seeking and desired so deeply within their lonely, lost souls. No one can ever put a price on the earthly and eternal bond my family has!

We pointed out that San Diego County finally realized—after interviewing many foster-care children—just how invaluable the basic family structure is—including mothers, fathers, children, grandparents, etc. I wanted our children to internalize that those elected officials in California thought it important enough to recreate traditional families for many foster-care children who had lost all hope.

Greg and I helped our "babies" understand that if children are going to be successful, they always need good mothers and fathers in their lives that possess consistent and correct parenting skills!

We also discussed how the amazing Clark parents taught through their example that selflessness, pure love and endless dedication is needed in raising children well. Those same vital principles also apply to children contributing to the happiness of their families. The 21 loving, responsible, kind and cooperative Clark children were a sight to behold! And I've already hoisted Mary Beth and Scott Clark (the amazing parents) on a pretty sizable pedestal! 😉

Greg and I have talked with our children umpteen times about the great importance of parents having a good marriage, but we pointed it out again because we can never undervalue the fact that a solid, loving marriage is what keeps every family going in the right direction!

Our children understand that while no one is perfect, all of us can try to improve ourselves daily! And after watching those two lovely Turning Point videos, I dearly hope my darlings further internalized that family members really can help each other be happy and become better people!

Gratitude was also a big focus of our night. Greg and I really wanted our children (and us!) to remember to be sooo grateful for our lives and the opportunities we've been given! But we also wanted them to realize that even if people don't have the best upbringing, they can still make good choices and live productive, happy lives!

Most importantly, Greg and I helped our children see that each of us can make a very positive impact in this world! Even though we may feel like our lives are small, or they don't matter much, that's most definitely not the case! Every child, sibling and parent can make a difference in someone else's life—even if it's just our own life for a little while! Yes, sometimes we need to work on ourselves before we can branch out and help someone else. But I believe the ultimate goal of this life is for everyone to be happy and to love and serve others to the very best of our abilities—just like Jesus Christ did. 😊

As you may have guessed, our children weren't too thrilled with Greg and I taking away so much time from their Monday night of technology fun. Yes, my babies were very verbal about their unhappiness with our family home evening decision 😒. Yet I did not care how bothered they were because our FHE was worth every single one of those little frustrations! 😊

I love that I accomplished my goal of carving out our essential family togetherness time—especially when I knew it was going to be a battle to have such a l-o-n-g (in their eyes) family home evening. Yet despite my darlings' complaints, I know our family-focused family home evening bonded us and will be remembered for even longer—and that's what really matters!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, here are the wonderful Turning Point episodes—complete with beautiful, uplifting music(!)—that taught my children so much! *FYI, you can turn off the closed captioning by clicking on the "cc" sign and clicking the "on" to "off."

San Pasqual Academy:



The Clarks:



P.S. Please feel free to use this FHE lesson idea and pass it along to others! I know it will impact your family for the better! 😀 Plus, I'd love the entire world to fully internalize just how important good parenting is! Let's spread the word that there is nothing better than having dedicated, Paramount Parents!

19 Years!

Today is a special day for my husband and me! 19 years ago, today, at 10:20 a.m., Greg and I were married and sealed for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake Temple!

It's amazing for me to think back on our life together. From our precious time dating, to our endless waiting while he was a missionary in Japan, to our thrilling engagement, and finally our sacred marriage and eternal sealing, my heart is overwhelmed with happiness! Has life been perfect for Greg and me? No, absolutely not. Yet because we have each other, we are perfectly happy together!

This morning as I walked awkwardly down the stairs in my big boot with a laundry basket, Greg was standing at the bottom of the stairs with a big smile on his handsome face. :) His combed, shiny black hair and glasses totally reminded me of Clark Kent! He was wearing his black and white "H" shirt in honor of his Harvard distance class that he'll be participating in tonight.

Smiling Greg took my laundry basket, smiled even brighter, got down on one knee, pulled a little, tan, textured box out of his pocket, opened it, presented it to me and said, "Will you marry me again? Because I would marry you again and again and again!" I excitedly said, "YES! I will marry you a million times!" Then I hugged and kissed and hugged him! Greg pushed the ring box toward me and said, "Well?! Aren't you going to put it on?! You've been so patient!"

Oh, my darling Gregor knows me so well! He knows how much I love beautiful jewelry, and indeed how difficult it was for me to wait so patiently for my amazing Jose Hess ring! You see, I've been eyeing this designer ring for just over two years! Yet it was just never the right time for us to buy this ring because it was too pricey for our family's budget.

So when I randomly stumbled across "my" ring during an internet search (Remember, I've had a lot of down time due to Fankle!) and saw that it was 55% off, well, I just had to have it! I totally love that I "conveniently" found out about my ring right before our 19th wedding anniversary! Yes, I have a delightful shopping angel for sure! Ha ha.

Here is a collage of my happiest ring:

I took three of the photos from JTV, and obviously, my copyright doesn't apply to those. :)

The reasons I love my new ring so much are:

1. It's sterling silver. From the research I've done, sterling silver is the best metal for your skin—it's the least toxic.
2. It has cubic zirconia stones. Even though diamonds are the traditional stone for anniversary bands, and they're much harder, I have issues with the way diamonds have messed up the lives and economies of the people and countries who mine them. Plus, cubic zirconia stones are only one-and-a-half steps down from diamonds on the Mohs Hardness Scale; they're also only a half-step away from rubies, sapphires and emeralds!
3. It's in the shape of a braid. I've done research in the past to see the history of wedding rings. Apparently back in the day (thousands of years ago), couples in love exchanged rings made out of braided or woven rushes/grasses to show their love and commitment to each other. I like that this ring reminds me of the longevity of the wonderful institution of traditional marriage—I love feeling connected to the past love stories of our world! :)
4. I've always had a thing for long, beautiful, leafy vines—this ring reminds me of the kind I used to doodle as a teenager. :)
5. I love the fact that I waited just over two years for my ring, which is the exact amount of time I had to wait for Greg to return from his mission in Japan!
6. It reminds me of a laurel wreath which represents victory. Yes, Greg and I have absolutely been victorious in our marriage for the past 19 years! :)
7. My darling, wonderful, sweet, and oh-so-charismatic husband presented it to me in the best way possible! I never imagined he would do something so romantic! Be still my heart! :)

Now, maybe some of you are thinking, "Well, the way Greg presented the ring to her wasn't that romantic...", and you might be right. But for me—Adrie Peterson, eternal wife of Gregory Peterson—the way I was presented my lovely anniversary ring was exactly perfect and utterly romantic to the max!

You see, when a married couple has been through as much as Greg and I have (especially recently), our happiest little encounter at the bottom of our stairs this morning couldn't have been more perfect! Heart sigh. :) Besides, time was of the essence: Greg had to get on a business call and I had many loads of laundry to fold—still do! Ha ha.

Yes, romantic moments can be fully had when we least expect them. Romance comes in all sorts of ways—we just need to be ready and willing to participate when those moments are available! And we shouldn't ever try to force romance into a box (pardon the pun!), for there isn't just one right way to be romantic! We must forever cherish whatever romantic moments we're given—with our whole hearts and souls!

I'm so grateful for the smiles Greg has given to me for the past 22 years! (I'm including the time since we met each other.) No amount of money or possessions will ever compare to the spiritual connection, physical love, and eternal dedication that Greg and I share. When all is said and done in this crazy world, there will still be Greg and Adrie for eternity!

P.S. This is exactly how I feel about my Gregor! :)