What Are We to Learn From This?

Hello, it's me! Yes, I'm still here nearly 11 months after my previous blog post! I actually began writing this post in February 2020—before the unbelievable COVID-19 pandemic put our entire planet on hold. Then there was the little matter of the 5.7 earthquake and thousands of aftershocks we've experienced here in Utah. And now we're watching protests galore unfold across America and some parts of the world. 😢

To some, this post might seem a little odd to share at this point in our history. Yet I'm publishing what I wrote anyway because I took the time to write it, and I enjoy remembering our lives pre-pandemic, pre-earthquake, and pre need for current protests—because, yes, I dearly wish there were no racism, no inequality, and no injustice anywhere in our world! I want everyone to feel safe, secure, protected, loved, cared for, etc. 😔

Before I continue, please rest assured that everything is great in my little world. 😁 I am so happy, healthy, and loving my days at home with my husband and children! My life is truly beautiful! That said, let's take a little trip to where I've been for the past several years outside of my happy life with Greg and our adorable children...

There's no easy way to start this, so I'll just dive in: In September 2019, my one and only mother married a man that I've never met! And she specifically chose not to tell any of her children, extended family members, or friends that she was going to marry him! 😱 My mom never told a single soul about her wedding plans outside of the man she married and the Nauvoo Temple staff!

There were no cleverly worded invitations, no exciting wedding preparations for my mother's children, grandchildren, sons-in-law, daughter-in-law, siblings, etc., to be involved with. There was no beautiful wedding experience, no reception, nor any kind of happy celebration to enjoy for the people who love and support her. There were no cheesy, adoring, or artistic photos snapped. There are no videos of the "blessed day" to be enjoyed or laughed at by my mother's posterity. There hasn't been any sort of anything that we could happily post to any of our social media accounts. That said, my mom's new husband's family threw them a marriage celebration in Hawaii a few months after their wedding—but none of my mom's family or extended family were invited...including not me. 😢

I found out that my mom married said-man-that-I've-never-met eight days after her wedding and sealing was finalized in the Nauvoo Temple! Adding insult to injury, I found out about my mom's wedding/sealing from my sister—and my sister found out all of that information through a text that my mom sent to my sister and brother! 😣 In my mom's somewhat-defense, she emailed me about her wedding/sealing the very next day after she texted my brother and sister. My mom claims that technology issues were to blame as to why I didn't receive her life-altering text, but the situation hurt my heart more than I can ever express. Because—Hello!—a phone call would have been nice!!! Even now as I read what I wrote, I still cannot believe that my mother did all of that!

Prior to her new marriage, my mom lived off-and-on in her now-husband's house (she had her own separate bedroom) in a different state from us, for about four+ years. So my siblings and I were dealing with all of those continuing challenges even before our mother's unsettling elopement.

While I won't go into great detail, just know that my mom and I were extremely close emotionally speaking before all of this happened. Unfortunately, things have absolutely not been the same between my mother and me since October 2013. It's been such a rough six+ years, you have no idea! I could go on and on and on with maddening details of my childhood family's situation. I could literally write for endless hours about the frustrations, turmoil, heartache, bad dreams, etc., that my mother's actions have caused. I'm sorry if this is too vague for some of you, but there are many things that are too private to share...just don't let your imagination get the better of you.

Suffice it to say, after praying, studying, and researching innumerable articles, podcast episodes, videos, devotionals, and books by wonderful licensed therapists, happy life coaches, amazing religious/spiritual leaders, incredible motivational speakers, uplifting TED Talks, inspiring holy scripture verses, etc., and talking things through with my childhood family and extended family members, friends, and especially my most precious husband, Greg 💖, I am finally at a point where I'm able to somewhat deal with my mother's new life. *But I'll never support nor condone her actions of marrying without including anyone in her joyful occasion besides her new husband. #noiwillnot! 😒

All of that said (yes, there's more 😅) I will never be able to fully express how devastating my mother's actions have been to me, nor can I adequately convey how difficult it was for me to get through those first four+ months after my mom's elopement. And I thought the previous five+ years had been rough! Ha! Unfortunately, they were just the prelude to my childhood family's new reality that repeatedly smacked us in the face like a dying fish out of water! 🎣

While I'm thankful I've mostly turned the corner in terms of coming to accept the shocking reality of my mom's new life—and trying to get used to the spoken-and-unspoken conditions that have been established by her (many of which I absolutely don't agree with)—getting to this point was only possible because of untold hours of researching, listening, talking, writing, praying, and many tears. Even after all of that work, it was only after I realized that I had a version of relationship PTSD—that those in the psychology world define as mother wounds—that I was finally able to pick myself up and start moving forward. I'm so thankful I was finally able to begin grieving my mother and find a way to "deal" with her choices!

Yet as much as I thought I've been making great progress these past additional four+ months, just three nights ago, I had a doozy of a dream that showed just how much my subconscious is still struggling big time with my mother's new life. I was stunned at how revealing and truth-filled my dream was! It makes me tear up when I think about it—but again, I must keep moving forward.

Even last week, my brother, sister, and I had a group text going where we shared our grief at missing our mom and wondering when we would ever get to see her in person again—and it has nothing to do with the COVID-19 pandemic restrictions, as our mother and her new husband are vacationing in another state...that is not where her children live!

To illustrate just how much mothers mean to their children throughout their entire lives, please read this section from The Science of Happiness Podcast, Episode 66—it's a great listen:

Rebecca Vitali-DeCola: My father’s mother died in childbirth with him. And in our first set of questions, there was a question about, like, if you could change one thing about your childhood... ...Anything about the way you were raised. What would it be?

Joe DeCola: My mom. Yeah. I really think she would have been really an interesting woman.

Rebecca Vitali-DeCola: Yeah.

Joe DeCola: And a really good thing in my life.

.....

Rebecca Vitali-DeCola: [His mom] was so central in his narrative. There was a moment, and I think in set three, I think where it’s like, "If your apartment is burning and you can get all the people you love out and pets out of it, but you had to, like, go back for one material item, one possession. Like, what would you run back for in a fire?" And he said "This, you know, photograph I have of my mom." And yeah, I mean, I just kept crying. I could not stop crying, listening to him talk. And I didn’t know that. I mean, and that’s very significant. So, yeah, that was a revelation. It was just really poignant. He’s you know, he’s 82 and he never met her. And she still occupies such an important part of his life and consciousness.

Oh, how that story tugs at my heart strings! 😥 It's amazing that an 82-year-old man can still miss his mother that much! It makes me feel better knowing that my siblings and I aren't the only ones who are so attached to their mom. Mothers and fathers really do make the world go 'round!

Obviously, there are many sides to every story. My mom has her version of her dating/marriage story, too. My entire childhood family and my mom's siblings each have their individual perspectives about what occurred with my mom's new relationship and marriage.

*So, to anyone reading this blog post, just know that I dealt with my mom's situation in the best ways I knew how—and I was always trying to improve myself while processing everything! I tried so very hard throughout the past six+ years to do and be the best that I could for my parents, siblings, and myself. Regardless of anyone else's life experiences, no one can ever fully understand what I've been through, so I hope you will proceed with compassion and empathy toward me. My broken heart thanks you. 😔

While working through my issues with my mom's elopement and her new marriage, I pondered various coping mechanisms I could utilize. One of the best ways for me to process life is by writing. Yes, journal writing is always a great idea, but blogging is my absolute favorite! 💛

Thus, I felt a strong desire to share my thoughts and feelings about my "mother issues" through my blog. I even drafted a few blog posts about my mom and her situation over the past year+ (including before she eloped), but they remain unpublished. After being reprimanded by my sister because she felt a blog post about nearly everything in our situation was too hurtful, I decided to do more research.

Not publishing my previous blog drafts about my mother and her dating/marriage situation was probably a good idea. It's no surprise that I can be feisty and "cutting" with my words if I want to. Most of the time, my words are lovely, uplifting, and kind. But I was so emotionally hurt by my mother that I was more than ready to let my pain and suffering explode like words spewing from the Hoover Dam! #noshame! Oh, the stories I could tell would make your head spin! Even though it would have felt really great to unload my feelings like that, it's probably best that I didn't publish my explosive sentences! 😄

While researching, I was so happy to read in several online sources that many experts state that sharing our personal stories is super helpful for each of us. Sharing our stories really does make us better people and might even help others learn something new in the process! I immediately felt relief and decided to compose a blog post that served not only my emotional healing, but one that could possibly help prevent others from making some of the mistakes I've endured (due to others' choices) over the past several years. Yay for story sharing days! 😁

By the way, it feels incredibly great to finally be blogging again! 👏🏻 I've wanted to blog about endless topics over the past few years, but I was so torn up inside about the situation with my mom that I just couldn't go there. Plus, I spent quite a bit of my free time trying to process everything, so I truly didn't have it in me to blog about all of my issues until now. I'm so happy to be posting on Enthusiastic Fantastic again! 😁

Here's what I've learned from my childhood family's issues—from my earliest memories, to literally today—in no particular order:

• If you are a parent, you must be the parent for your child no matter how old you or your child are. Don't "reverse" the roles of parent and child! Every child needs and deserves their parents until the day they die. Even in the afterlife (I believe in the postmortal spirit world), parents should be watching over and helping their children to the extent possible. I truly believe the role of parent continues throughout eternity. *A sweet example of parents always being there for their children in the proper parenting roles was shown in episode 10, season 6 of Madam Secretary. Stevie (First Daughter) is sitting between her parents, Elizabeth (Madam President) and Henry (First Gentleman), in the presidential limousine on the way to her wedding:

Elizabeth: So sweet of you, by the way, to drive with Dad and me. That means a lot. It's very sweet. Thank you.

Stevie: Yeah, well, I, um...I thought that it would give us a chance to talk.

Henry: Absolutely, What's on your mind?

Elizabeth: Listen, sweetheart, no matter how old you get or how many kids of your own you have, you can always come to us with anything, about anything.

The scene continues in funny banter between spouses, parents, and child, but it fully illustrates the point that parents should remain a significant, devoted source of comfort, safety, and love throughout their child's life. *As a side note, I'm super bummed that Madam Secretary was canceled! ☹

• Regardless of how your child is acting/behaving, you must always show up as your child's parent! Unless a parent has a significant impairment that prevents them from understanding that they are a parent, parents should always rise above and be the good parent their child deserves. *If you have questions as to how to be a good parent, take the necessary time to learn, be humble enough to make needed changes, and then continually put forth your best efforts to become the wonderful parent your child deserves. It's never too late! Start today! Change happens the instant you decide!
• Realize how incredibly important you are to your child. There is nothing that can ever replace the importance of a parent in a child's life. Parents are absolutely paramount! Of course, nearly every child will one day create their own life, but they still need their parents no matter their age or the level of success they achieve!
• Create good, healthy relationships and support systems within your family, friends, and community. Then, when you're struggling—because we all struggle at times throughout our lives—make sure you reach out to that support system you've created to help you work through your issues. Never put your child in the role of "therapist" unless they are a fully grown adult who is happily established in their own life. Even then, use caution with how much you rely on your child; keep your child as your first priority in your relationship with them. If you're really in a jam and can't seem to unscramble the mess, find a well-credentialed therapist who will help you figure everything out—it will benefit you, your entire family, and your posterity.
• Give your loved ones a heads up if you are going to elope! There is never any excuse good enough to justify not sharing your upcoming wedding news with those closest to you. That doesn't mean you need to include people in your wedding day specifically, you can totally have a private wedding, but you should definitely clue them in as to what's about to happen! *I recently read this lovely story about an older couple that found true love during the COVID-19 pandemic. I ate up every word about the darling couple and daydreamed about how amazing it would have been if my mom had simply given me the opportunity to somehow be involved in her engagement and wedding. 😢
• Do your utmost best in choosing your spouse. Look at every characteristic possible to determine if you two are a match. Spend ample time fully communicating about everything relevant to your future marriage and family. Don't leave any topic to chance! You don't want to discover a deal-breaker after you've already made the serious, life-changing commitment to your spouse. Then, do everything within your power to help create and sustain a happy, loving, long-term marriage and family! Marriage depends on both spouses continually giving their very best to each other—including forgiveness! 💛
• Unless there is abuse happening, stay married to your chosen spouse! Love each other wholeheartedly, unselfishly, and unconditionally throughout this life and into the next! Your first spouse should be your only spouse! Divorce should be your very last option after every other resource has been exhausted. Only resort to divorce if your marriage is truly "dead" beyond recovery. For further thoughts on this, please read this wonderful talk, "Divorce," by Dallin H. Oaks. *I fully understand there are certain situations that warrant divorce. I'm not saying that divorce should never happen. I'm just saying that every couple should try their very best to make their marriage happy, healthy, and loving, and then stay married!

So, where am I emotionally today? Well, I'm feeling a lot better compared to the emotional "bomb" I experienced in September, 2019, that's for darn sure! Obviously, blogging isn't the perfect answer to work through issues, by any means, but writing out and sharing my story has definitely helped—so thank you for reading! 😊

I still haven't met my new stepfather (not even virtually or via phone call!) and I don't know if or when that will happen. That feeling totally sucks, but I'm getting used to it. I know...that's complete and utter craziness, but it's the truth.

Now, on to a few happier things:

The fantastic news is, I've paid to have my domain name remain active for Enthusiastic Fantastic through 2029! Woohoo and yippee skippee! I find great satisfaction in knowing that my blog will live on for at least another nine+ years—it gives me true joy! 🤩

And I must share these happy photos that my children took of Greg and me on Mother's Day, 2020! My children know that one of the very best gifts they can give me are photos! 📸 Greg, our three darlings, and I spent quite a bit of time posing and taking photos as my main Mother's Day gift. We had the best time together! 💛💙🧡💚💜

I'm so very thankful for my amazing family—that literally exists because Greg and I fell eternally in love! 😍 Greg and I are 100% committed and faithful to each other, and I'm beyond grateful that our family reaps the benefits of our happy, healthy marriage every single day!

Greg & Adrie Peterson 💙💛 05/10/2020 🥰

Greg and I were acting like robots for this one! #robotdancers! Ha ha 😂

*02/15/2021—Update:

Things are getting a tiny bit better in my childhood family. I've had a smidgen of contact with my new stepfather—both through kind holiday/birthday cards and gifts, and a couple of text messages. But no, I still haven't met him in person, nor have I talked with him over the phone or even virtually. I really don't know if or when any of that will ever happen, and it's confusing.

My mom and I have had several more talks via phone call and the Marco Polo app; we're working on this new normal of our family dynamic. I'm bummed I haven't seen her in one-and-a-half years, and I don't know if/when I'll see her in person again. 😔 Overall, it's still a difficult situation for me, but the difficulty has lessened a little as time passes. I wish I had better news for this unbelievable situation, but it is what it is!

Just Say "NO!" to Mark Zuckerberg

Guess what?! I finally and thoroughly said "NO!" to Mark Zuckerberg! And just how did I say no to the all-powerful Zuck, you ask? Simply by deleting my Facebook account! 👏😃 I'm also leaving Instagram, but that process is taking longer to complete than it took for me to delete my Facebook account—more on that to come.

You might wonder why I suddenly decided to delete Facebook after all of these years, and leave my beloved Instagram. Well, it's because I read a lot of articles that share just how much Facebook and now Instagram have messed with our society. It's not good news! If you're interested, here are the articles I read that solidified my decision:

"Facebook Stored Millions Of User Passwords In Plain, Readable Text"

"Instagram Is the Internet’s New Home for Hate
As other social networks wage a very public war against misinformation, it's thriving on Instagram."

"Facebook’s Data Deals Are Under Criminal Investigation"

"Instagram posts encouraging eating disorders are 'spiralling out of control,' psychiatrists warn"

"Facebook won’t let you opt out of its phone number ‘look up’ setting"

"Facebook and Instagram Going Dark Should Be a Wake Up Call for Entrepreneurs

Social media is a tool you use. Your website and your email list are assets you own."

"Opinion: Facebook crumbles around its lonely king
Shareholders gave Mark Zuckerberg all the power, and now watch as top executives walk away from his iron-fisted rule"

"Why Facebook waited 3 months to disclose its latest privacy screw-up"

"I Deleted Facebook Last Year. Here’s What Changed (and What Didn’t).

Our personal tech columnist didn’t lose touch with his true friends — but strange things did occur, including Instagram thinking he was a woman."

Also, in late 2018, I watched Frontline's documentary, "The Facebook Dilemma," and it definitely had an influence on my #deleteFacebook! decision. I highly recommend watching Frontline's entire presentation! ⭐

What's crazy is that those articles are just a sampling of the negative press about Facebook! Instagram didn't used to have much bad press, but since it was bought by Facebook, I've seen IG in the press more and more and it's not good news. Oh, how I wish Instagram had never sold-out to Facebook! 👎 That said, let's continue with my story. 😊

On March 23rd, 2019, I logged back into Facebook for the first time in four years so I could finally delete my account once and for all! (I deactivated my account on March 9th, 2015.)

Let me tell you, logging back in to Fakebook was the strangest moment I've had in the past four years! It was so odd seeing very familiar parts of FB, but there were also new things I wasn't familiar with. I read the instructions as to how to download all of my data and permanently delete my Facebook account; it took me a while to figure everything out.

While I waited to get my Facebook account's data download, I looked at several people's pages that I hadn't had contact with since I left that blue and white world. I was surprised to see that a couple of my friends had new babies, and several friends had moved to new homes, but everything else in everyone else's lives pretty much fell in line with their posts from four+ years ago.

It was so interesting to note that all of my Facebook friends and family (that I don't have continuous/regular contact with) basically stayed the same—meaning, we are who we are! Good, bad, or indifferent, we fundamentally don't significantly change over the years! It really was such a fascinating "experiment" on my end! I'm actually really glad I was able to experience my own version of a "social scientist study" by being active on Facebook, then deactivating my account, and later going back on it for a couple of hours!

What surprised me the most about my adventure of logging back in to Facebook is how much time I spent there! 😬 I pulled up many pages of people I wanted to check up on, so that took time in and of itself. Yet I never could have predicted my many random clicks—i.e., my wonderings about other people who showed up on my friends/family members pages—and how long my "inquiries" took to resolve! 😆

I really "fell down" the Facebook Rabbit Hole and it was nothing close to a happy Wonderland! Ha ha. It was a stark reminder of how Facebook is/was not good for me—it's a HUGE time waster!

*Please let me clarify that the people I care about aren't a waste of time. It's just that the way Facebook is set up is meant to make us waste as much time on there as possible, which is not good for us. If you'd like concrete evidence of that fact, read this statement from New York Media's Intelligencer article, "Sean Parker: We Built Facebook to Exploit You": 

"Parker explained just how he and the other early Facebookers built the platform to 'consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible.'"

Sean's statement makes me cringe and get a pit in my stomach! It's terrible what the Facebook machine has purposely and very knowingly done—and continues to do—to our society!

If you'd like to hear more from Sean Parker's interview, watch this video that also includes an interview with Chamath Palihapitiya, an early senior executive at Facebook

Sean Parker, Chamath Palihapitiya - Facebook is 'Ripping Apart Society'

*As a warning, be aware that Chamath uses strong language—i.e., swear/cuss words which I can't stand!

When it came down to actually deleting my Facebook account, I double checked everything very carefully. I made sure I had all of my data because those posts/messages/comments were important memories from my family's history! 💖 Once I was certain that my data download was complete, I clicked the blue box that said "⚠ Delete Account"! It was such an amazing feeling to click that button, you have no idea! Wow, talk about an adrenaline rush! 👏😃

Okay, that might seem like a strange reaction to have, but knowing I still had a Facebook account—even though it was deactivated—was always in the back of my mind, and it bothered me! I felt like a hypocrite because I so did not support Facebook and all of the problems it's introduced into our society, yet I still owned my deactivated account! 😬 By continuing to have a deactivated Facebook account, I wasn't living congruently to my soul. Thus I was so very happy to rectify my incongruous situation by finally deleting my Facebook account! Yay yay happy day! 😁

*In my estimation, my previous Facebook account has now been deleted from our universe for two-and-a-half weeks! Woohoo! 👊

Deciding to also delete my private Instagram account was a bit more difficult for me. I absolutely loved my time on Instagram over the past five years—I joined on February 26th, 2014—and I knew I'd deeply miss it. 😥 Yet after reading all of the articles I listed above, and knowing how Instagram has fundamentally changed for the worse since Facebook gained control, I knew what I had to do.

When I downloaded my private Instagram account's data, I was extremely disappointed to find that Instagram doesn't put your photos and captions in the same files! In fact, I couldn't even find all of my photo captions! They seemed to be hidden away deep within my data download, and the only way I could access them was to download my captions' file folder contents to a sketchy online program that converted them into an Excel spreadsheet which I then had to re-download.

I later discovered that that online conversion program downloaded a tracking virus to my computer, too. Boo! 😠 Thankfully, I eradicated the virus from my computer. But even when the sketchy online conversion program separated out my captions into the Excel spreadsheet, some of my captions were still missing—which ticked me off!

After all of the time and effort I spent downloading my Instagram world, I realized that this manipulation of our data is yet another devious Facebook tactic meant to keep its users hooked and brainwashed every day! But I will not fall for it! No, I will not! #feistyAdrie 😇

Thus, as much as I was so giddy to also delete my private Instagram account right away, it will have to wait for a future day hopefully not too far away. For now, I need to work on copying/pasting all of my photo captions into a Word document. Unfortunately, my captions won't match up exactly with my photo files as Instagram's data download just groups them by month 😞, but at least I'll have them!

Greg suggested that I create a private blog to post our photos and captions there, but that would take up entirely too much of my time as I have 950 private Instagram posts and multiple photos on many of them! So yeah, at this point, I'd rather have a journal-type document and keep it in the same computer file as my Instagram photos. It's not a perfect system, but it's better than not having my captions at all!

You see, I absolutely loved writing photo captions on my Instagram posts! It really helped me remember all of the wonderfulness or frustration of each day or experience that I posted about. Plus, I just love love love words!!! #EnthusiasticFantastic! 😁 So yes, a big part of the reason I loved contributing on Instagram was because of the wordy details I shared there. I love composing captions! 💛

And yes, I fully know that blogging is the best way to share large amounts of words, which is why I'm currently in the process of retraining my brain to come blog at my computer rather than composing and posting via my smart phone. It's been a long process to eradicate the "addictiveness" of Instagram from my daily life, but I'm totally getting there! I am making progress in my Instagram-free efforts! Yay! A fabulous quote I heard last night (while listening to a wonderful BYU Devotional, "Wrestling with Comparisons" by J.B. Haws—go listen to it right now! 😀) really helps me solidify that writing on my blog is one of the best things I can do:

"Writing makes an exact man."
– Francis Bacon

I absolutely love that quote and couldn't agree more! Yes, writing makes me an exact woman! #choosetowrite! 😁

Here are some of my Instagram side notes: my final post was on April 3rd, 2019; I completely deleted the app from my phone; I no longer scroll my feed; and copying/pasting my many photo captions into a Word doc will be one of my summertime projects of 2019!

Guess what else?! I have even more information to share about why we should just say "NO!" to Mark Zuckerberg and get off all of the social media platforms Facebook controls. Are you ready for this?! 😃

A little while after I started my Facebook account deletion process, I saw this incredible new TED Talk given by Carole Cadwalladr at TED's April, 2019 conference—it's an absolute must-watch!

"Facebook's role in Brexit — and the threat to democracy"

Around that same time, I stumbled upon this article that deeply disturbed me 😧:

"Inside the Secret Facebook War For Mormon Hearts and Minds"

Here is the gist about what one former member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints did to his family members and friends, and the other people whose family/friends signed up for his "services" online via personalized Facebook ads—it's utterly appalling to me! I just can't believe that Facebook allows such blatant targeting of its users!

"...The project was called MormonAds, and it was a brief but perhaps unprecedented experiment in targeted religious dissuasion. In four months at the end of 2017, the project targeted more than 5,000 practicing Mormons with messages painstakingly crafted to serve as gentle introductions to the messier elements of LDS history that were glossed over within the church. All the names and email addresses for the campaign came from disillusioned ex-Mormons.

"...Jones had a working knowledge of Facebook's ads tool through his business, and he knew that he could precision target an ad to a custom audience as small as 20 people. All he needed were their email addresses. 'If I target my family with ads, then I’m not the apostate messenger,' he said. 'Maybe they’ll look at it or read it. If they knew what I knew about Mormon history, they’d understand why I left the church.'"

Based on that article alone, it's clear that Facebook is not safe for any of us! Facebook is not our friend in any way, shape, or form! We should run as far and as fast as we can away from Facebook's creepy alternate universe!

All of the information I've shared in this post would have easily been enough, but yesterday morning, I was introduced to two additional, shocking articles that further support my stance that we should all delete our Facebook and Instagram accounts immediately! I highly recommend reading both of them as they will blow your mind! 💣💥 I hope they will convince you to strongly say "NO!" to Mark Zuckerberg, too! #justdoit! #justsayNO!

The New York Times

Opinion

"It's Time to Break Up Facebook"

The Verge

"THE TRAUMA FLOOR

The secret lives of Facebook moderators in America"

If we want anything to change within our social media atmosphere, we must band together and stand up for what is right and true! You might think I'm overreacting, but I know I'm not. The future of our society for generations to come depends on what we all do right now! We cannot wait for some government to change our social media climate! Only we can make that positive change that needs to be made!

With every bit of seriousness I can muster, please understand that (from everything I've read, watched, and listened to) Mark Zuckerberg certainly will NOT be the positive and righteous change agent for our world. No, Zuck is fully looking to keep his world domination and has zero intentions of ever stepping down from his data-driven, citizen-powered throne! Furthermore, the many Facebook executives and employees won't step up and make the necessary changes either because they're all enjoying their vast amounts of money entirely too much—money that they've all made from us wasting our precious time on their addictive and destructive apps!

So, you might be wondering where I will go in our social media universe, as there aren't too many options outside of Facebook's empire. It's true, I'm definitely not going to give up social media all together just because of a few really bad apples in the basket. Thus, after doing a lot of research, I decided to join Flickr! Yay Flickr! 😀

I really like that Flickr was sold by Yahoo in 2018 to a conscientious, family-owned company named SmugMug. Based on what I've researched, Flickr is now all about its users': photographs; experience on Flickr; connection with people they want to be connected to; and privacy!

I also love the fact that I can pay for Flickr Pro(!) and get the following, "Unlimited storage, ad-free browsing, advanced stats, and more." I am so interested in unlimited storage, and especially in an advertisement-free(!) Flickr experience! Yes, I am totally willing to pay a small fee for social media freedom from constant advertisements and insane invasions of my privacy!

If you're interested, here's more information about the Flickr/SmugMug partnership:

SmugMug + Flickr Frequently Asked Questions

About Flickr

Flickr Help

Flickr FAQs

*In case you're wondering, no, I have not been asked to promote Flickr in any way. I've not been contacted by Flickr to sign up, share my thoughts, nor anything close to that. I'm simply sharing my opinion on what I think is currently the best replacement for Instagram and Facebook.

The only problem is, I can't get any of my friends to sign up on Flickr with me because they're all so in love with Instagram and Facebook! (They're probably also "addicted" to IG and FB to some extent.) #sosadface! 😢 My dearest mom and sweet auntie have both signed up on Flickr (Thank you, darling ladies!) and we're now following each other, but we're it! Oh, how I would love it if my other family members and friends joined me on Flickr!

Here are my stats for my other social media accounts:

I don't plan to ever quit Twitter unless something really crazy happens in the future. I haven't used Twitter a lot yet, as I've been super busy lately, but that awesome time will come in the future where I'll be sharing my blog post links to Twitter on a regular basis! Yay yay happy Twitter days! 😄 I've researched Twitter's CEO, Jack Dorsey, and while he seems a little extreme in some of his personal views and habits, I feel much better about him and his leadership capabilities than I ever did about Mark Zuckerberg. Maybe I'll just refer to Jack as being a little eccentric...as we all are in our own ways! 😉

I will totally keep my Pinterest and LinkedIn accounts, too. I share my blog post links on Pinterest, but I also love posting the many additional articles, videos, and podcasts I feel are worth sharing and referring back to. I'm not super active on LinkedIn, but I absolutely understand the tremendous value of being a member on LinkedIn! It is a great networking tool!

And of course, I will continue sharing here on Enthusiastic Fantastic! It is and will remain my main internet and social media love forever! 😄 Unless something catastrophic happens to me or the world wide web, I will always keep posting here!

Finally, I understand that many of you will choose to stay connected via Facebook and Instagram indefinitely, which is totally your right and privilege. I won't hold your choices against you—I promise! 😘 We are all so blessed to have the God-given gift of free agency! Each of us gets to choose how we live our marvelous miraculous lives and spend our precious beautiful days. 💗 But we are also subject to the consequences of our many actions—be they good, bad, or boring. 😉 Thus, we must be satisfied with the choices we make, for it is terrible to be filled with regret! Yes, I'm so happy that I choose to live my life free of regrets every day!

My sincere hope is that each of us as individuals, and our society as a whole, will wake up to this mess Mark Zuckerberg has created and be the positive change that makes our world a better place for everyone!

Have a great day making your best choices! 😘

Joining the Twitterverse

Good morning! So you might have been wondering where I've been these past three months. Well, I've been living! Ha ha. But seriously, life has been a bundle of surprises, changes, and a lot of work. Being a supportive wife, mother of three teenagers, homemaker, part-time piano teacher, occasional substitute teacher, and remaining strongly committed to my fitness regimen is surprisingly time consuming!

Every day, I think I'm going to have or make time for blogging, but then 11:00 p.m. arrives and I'm like, "Okay! I'll blog tomorrow!" Yeah, that's been one of my repeating phrases in my mind for umpteen weeks now! 😅 Someday, I'll actually be consistent at blogging again! Yet at this stage of my life, blogging as much as I want (my heart wants it so much!) is just not going to happen, and I'm okay with that. Right now, I'm so happy to help my children, husband, church, and myself with everything that is most important! But it would be such fun to have three extra hours each day to do more! Oh, yes, it would! 😁 One day, I know I'll have more time and energy to devote to my happiest Enthusiastic Fantastic! Until then, sporadic blog posts is my holding pattern. 😊

That said, I made a little progress this morning: I joined Twitter! I know, can you even believe I just wrote that?! I'm shocked, too! Ha ha. The reason I joined Twitter is because Google+ is going away. 😢

I've shared my blog post links on Google+ for years now, and I always loved the way my posts' images showed up on my profile page. So I was totally bummed out(!) when I found out that Google+ is being deleted from our Internet world! Seriously, what the heck, Google?! I still have my public Instagram account open, but I'm standing Wonder-Woman strong in my stance against Facebook, so I won't be posting publicly there (on my public Instagram account) anymore. When I looked at our world's social media ways, I determined that Twitter was my best option for sharing my blog post links from here on out. Yay me! 👍😁

While I'm disappointed that Twitter won't show my blog post links as prettily as Google+ did, I'm happy I have a place to share my links at all! It could definitely be worse!

I struggled with the fact that Twitter wouldn't let me create the user name I really want—@EnthusiasticFantastic—because it's over their character limit. What the what?! Why, Twitter, why?! After trying many user names that were either too long, already taken, or too short (seriously, Twitter?!!), I finally settled on @EnthusiasticAP. I'm going to let my handle sit for a while and see if I really like it. If not, I'll change it to something else. *But after searching and thinking deeply for quite a while, I really do think that @EnthusiasticAP is where I'll stay in the Twitterverse! Yay!

Okay, my happy blogging time is up—I get to go workout now! Catch ya later! 👋

Enthusiastic Fantastic is Now Ad-Free!

If you've visited Enthusiastic Fantastic recently, you may have noticed that I no longer show advertisements anywhere on my site! Woohoo! 😄 As I wrote in my newly created "Donate" page, I've never made any real money through Google's AdSense program, and I was always annoyed with the advertisements that were embedded in my blog, so I decided to discontinue allowing ads on my blog! It's so exciting, right?! I've also now included my PayPal.Me link for anyone who would like to contribute to my happy little blogging endeavor! Yay for PayPal, and yay for me going ad-free! 😊

It was a big decision to remove my AdSense ads, but one that was relatively easy to make. After researching and experimenting with my blog for years—I put in so much work for such a long time!—I realized that my happy little blog will never be as successful as those blogs that rake in enough dough to support a family and additional employees. You see, I'm simply not willing to do what's required to make that kind of big blogging money. I must and will always stay true to myself and my strong personality/feelings with every blog post I compose!

As I've said before, I was never looking to make a living at blogging when I created Enthusiastic Fantastic five years ago. Yet I absolutely know that my words matter, and I'm supposed to be contributing to our society through my blog posts and typographic designs! I know I've dropped the ball with my lack of blog posts these past couple of years; I'm really going to try to be better at writing blog posts from here on out!

Thus, seeing that I spend quality time and money creating content and keeping my website up and running (My time is precious!), I decided it couldn't hurt to include a donation page where people can say "Thank you!" monetarily speaking. And please let me say right up front that my little family and I seriously, sincerely, and very genuinely appreciate any donation amount(s) given!

Because of this momentous change, I'm so happy when I visit Enthusiastic Fantastic and see zero advertisements now! My lovely little ad-free spot on the Internet is a huge breath of fresh air from the rest of the online madness that's filled with pop-up ads galore. I love seeing only things I feel passionate about and have carefully chosen to include on my blog! I'm thrilled not to feel the urge to check my AdSense account balance anymore! Yeah yeah yeah! I love knowing that no other company has anything to do with Enthusiastic Fantastic—it's mine, all mine(!)—which is just how it should be. Yes, indeedy! 😀

Because of my newfound, blissful clarity (my ad-free blog 😊), I'm hoping that more of us will choose to spend a little more time here—at least I'm really going to try! Wish me luck with refining my time-management skills! 😄

I hope you and yours are doing well and enjoying every minute of your special lives! Have a great day! 😘

Strengthening Our Families

Hi, everyone! This morning, I was getting ready to compose an Instagram post on my private account. As I was downloading photos and screenshots to create a visually interesting post, I realized that I needed this post to be public, and that Instagram couldn't really hold all of the wonderfulness that I've found.

Plus, I'm super wordy and I struggle with editing my Instagram posts to be the length allowed on that platform. #wordyAdrie! 😄 Sometimes, I've spent way too much time figuring out what words/sentences to omit on Instagram, when I really should have just written a blog post to begin with! Thus, today I'm breaking my time-consuming Instagram-posting habit and writing a time-consuming-but-much-more-fulfilling blog post instead! Ha ha. Yay me!

If you didn't know, I'm right smack dab in the middle of raising teenagers! What's amazing to me about this season of life is that when you're pregnant, or just had a baby, no doctor or nurse or parenting book fully prepares you for teenagers and all that comes with them! 😅 Even though I took a complete Love and Logic parenting class in Colorado when my firstborn was (I think) seven years old, it still didn't prepare me for these wild teenage years!

Yes, we parents were all teenagers once, but being a teen and raising teens are two very different things! I certainly remember being a teenager and all that entails, but I could go on for days about how surprising it's been to parent my teenagers! It's nearly unbelievable how quickly teen emotions change—my view of my family can go from being "Everything is easy-peasy, super awesome!" to "I'm so tired! How am I going to make it through one more day of teenagedom without crying my eyes out?!" in nearly an instant!

The good news is, all things considered, my sweet little family is doing well!

My oldest son just graduated from high school and I'm sooo happy for him! It was a definite struggle at some points of his high school journey, but we all hung in there and he was successful in his efforts! 🎓👏😁 That said, I will not miss those seemingly never-ending high school nights when he refused to go to bed at a decent hour. If I didn't know what I know about teenagers and their sleep cycles, I would have been a complete wreck!

Thankfully, I know it's not just my teenagers who don't want to go to sleep at night, but a scientifically proven problem for teens the world over. The National Sleep Foundation points out that, "Biological sleep patterns shift toward later times for both sleeping and waking during adolescence—meaning it is natural to not be able to fall asleep before 11:00 pm." Amen to that statement! And yet I wonder why on earth it is that high school is still held at such an early hour! We seriously need to make every high school's start time later in the morning!

Sleep aside, my teenagers are doing really well for being teenagers. 😊 I am so grateful for the incredible human beings I've been given and entrusted to raise. My heart is completely filled with love for my growing babies! 💖 That said, I am constantly looking for ways to help my children feel happier, do better, and be the best version of themselves—without me becoming an annoying dictator in the process! Ha ha.

I know that being a good parent starts with me and my positive attitude. That said, even though I'm technically and legally responsible for my darling children and their well-being until the age of 18, in the end, they each need to live their own lives and be in charge of themselves. They need to make their choices and own them—I so hope they make good ones! In the end, I'm only able to regulate/manage/change myself! And that's how it is for every person on this planet!

So, as much as I dearly want to help my children every minute of every day of their precious lives, I can only help them to the point that they want me to help. Yes, parenting teenagers is a delicate tightrope-walk that takes loads of careful practice, purposeful dedication, laser-sharp focus, and enthusiastic perseverance! Not to mention, an endless supply of unconditional love, great self confidence, and lots of "strength training"!

But seriously, parents of teenagers need to have good support systems and excellent self-care measures in place to feel successful in their callings. I would not do as well as I do in parenting my teenagers without my coping strategies—for example: having a wonderful marriage; exercising five to six days per week; getting enough sleep; eating healthily; having good friends/family members to talk with; and especially my spiritual connection to Heaven.

Speaking of prayer, it's my go-to best parenting technique for raising teenagers! I literally can't tell you how many times I've prayed for my teens because I'm always praying for them! 💗 I know our Heavenly Father knows my children much better than I do, and I know He actually sees what their future holds—unlike me who just thinks I know what's best for my children. Thus, my prayers are always first and foremost in my parenting strategies. I have experienced miracles through prayer and fasting for my children! I will continue praying for my children every day for the rest of my life and into eternity!

As I said before, I'm always seeking out ways to be a better mother. I've shared many helpful motherhood/parenting articles, talks, and videos on my Pinterest account, and I'll continue sharing what I find there, but I've definitely not had the time to pin everything yet. I seriously wish Heavenly Father would give us three additional hours every day! A 27-hour day sounds pretty great to me! So, for today, I'll share here the things I've recently found to be helpful in my efforts of parenting my cherished teenagers:

"To Women: 'Doing Better Doesn’t Mean Doing More'"
By Sharon Eubank and Reyna Aburto—blog post on LDS.org.

I love the entire blog post, but this paragraph really stood out to me:

"As we seek the Lord’s will and strive to do it, we are assured that every small effort is accepted. All the Lord asks of us is a heart full of love and willingness to share that love. We’ve all made covenants to “mourn with those that mourn … and comfort those that stand in need of comfort” (Mosiah 18:9), but that doesn’t mean to run ourselves ragged. Doing better doesn’t always mean doing more. And if you do just one inspired thing each day, you are nevertheless the Lord’s agent."

Amen, sista, and bravo! 👏😁

"Love One Another, As I Have Loved You"
By Jennifer Brinkerhoff Platt—talk presented at BYU Women's Conference, 2018.

I'm so excited Jennifer's talk is available to read and watch! I've listened to her video at least three times already, and I'll be listening to/watching/reading it again very soon! Here are three sections of her talk that I absolutely love!

"...if we really understand the distinction between doctrine, principles and application, then we will work to focus more on the doctrine—the WHY of our behaviors. Focusing on application or HOW we live is divisive, because I shouldn’t judge you for what the Holy Ghost is telling you to do. I may not understand your approach, but if we are one in doctrine, in the WHY, then it doesn’t matter how we pursue it."

"Continually pointing ourselves to the doctrine helps us to be one in Christ as He is one with the Father. Think of the love we extend to each other when instead of judging HOW another person is living, we assume the very best, that they are pursuing doctrine. Look for and trust the WHY of other’s behaviors. Teach and testify of WHY we do what we do. This gives us entrance into the sacred spaces of one another’s hearts where there is hidden sorrow that the eye can’t see. We also learn to pursue our questions differently and find peace with the ambiguity associated with mortality."

"Now, do you recognize this statement from President Boyd K. Packer? 

'True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behaviors. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of the gospel.'"

So awesome, right?! 😀

"How great leaders inspire action"
By Simon Sinek—TEDxPuget Sound

It might seem strange to relate this TED Talk to parenting, but it really clicked with me! I've simply applied what he said to parenting and children! 😊 Here's a great quote from Mr. Sinek's wise words:

"Every single person, every single organization on the planet knows what they do, 100 percent. Some know how they do it, ... But very, very few people or organizations know why they do what they do. And by 'why' I don't mean 'to make a profit.' That's a result. It's always a result. By 'why,' I mean: What's your purpose? What's your cause? What's your belief? Why does your organization exist? Why do you get out of bed in the morning? And why should anyone care? As a result, the way we think, we act, the way we communicate is from the outside in, it's obvious. We go from the clearest thing to the fuzziest thing. But the inspired leaders and the inspired organizations—regardless of their size, regardless of their industry—all think, act and communicate from the inside out."

I also really like Simon's second TED Talk: "Why good leaders make you feel safe," and applied what he teaches to parenting, as well! Here's one of my favorite quotes from his talk:

"Leadership is a choice. It is not a rank. I know many people at the senior[-]most levels of organizations who are absolutely not leaders. They are authorities, and we do what they say because they have authority over us, but we would not follow them. And I know many people who are at the bottoms of organizations who have no authority and they are absolutely leaders, and this is because they have chosen to look after the person to the left of them, and they have chosen to look after the person to the right of them. This is what a leader is."

"The Idea of 'Mothers in Zion' Made Me Mad—Until I Learned What It Meant"
By Sharon Eubank—blog post on LDS.org.

Oh, how I love her quote! 💛

"Charity, or the pure love of Christ, is motherhood in a very practical and real way—sacrificing so that others might thrive and seeing beyond present circumstances to the way things really are. This motherhood is part of my covenantal identity. My mother-work will come directly through the whispers of the Holy Spirit."

"Strengthening the Family: Resource Guide for Parents"
Published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—also available for purchase at LDS.org's online store.

This is the gem of all parenting jewels! I'm so happy I found Strengthening the Family! I'll be reading and referring to it again and again! I only wish it had been available when I was pregnant with my first baby! It was published in 2006, two years after my last baby was born, but I never knew about it until recently. Thus, I'm sharing it with the world now in hopes that it helps some new parent somewhere in this glorious world of ours! While I feel silly that I had access to it all this time with the amazing Gospel Library app on my smartphone and didn't previously find it, I'm not going to worry because at least I'll be using it now!

Here are two great quotes from its pages:

"Words and behavior have the power to hurt or to help, to inflict pain and suffering or to soothe painful feelings, to provoke doubt and fear or to instill faith and courage." 

"President James E. Faust of the First Presidency taught the importance of love and of recognizing differences in children when disciplining them: 'Child rearing is so individualistic. Every child is different and unique. What works with one may not work with another. I do not know who is wise enough to say what discipline is too harsh or what is too lenient except the parents of the children themselves, who love them most. It is a matter of prayerful discernment for the parents. Certainly the overarching and undergirding principle is that the discipline of children must be motivated more by love than by punishment.'"

President Faust's quote can apply to every parenting issue under the sun because we parents know and love our children the most! We have the individual responsibility and joy of parenting our children in the best ways possible for each of them because they are "ours"! 💞

I'm so grateful for this gift of motherhood I've been given because it's everything to me! 🎁 When I say everything, I mean that I always wanted to be a mother{!}—from my earliest memories—and I'm so grateful my wish/desire has been so richly fulfilled! And I must give huge props to my darling Gregor for helping me achieve my dreams of motherhood!

While I know my time is short in terms of having my children live with me (and Greg 😍) before they move on into the wide wide world, I will always be a mother; I am eternally a mother, inside and out! Regardless of the outcome of my children's lives—whatever path they choose in this world—I will love and care for these amazing souls that our Heavenly Father has blessed me with forever! 😇

You've come to the end of my parenting thoughts/helps for now, but I'll share more as I discover them! I'd love it if something I've shared today is of value to you or someone you know! I sincerely hope we'll all work on strengthening our families because relationships with our loved ones are the most important! 💛