Friday, August 1, 2014

Gestures

This movie quote is probably one of my all-time favorites:
Stoic: No more of....this! [gestures to all of Hiccup] 
Hiccup: [miffed] You just gestured to all of me.
Why do I love that quote, you ask? Because in my life, I have felt just like Hiccup. Not in the cartoonish, entire-movie sense, but definitely in the "They don't appreciate me for all that I am. I don't feel very connected to them." way. I haven't felt like Hiccup every day, mind you, but enough that when I heard those lines for the first time, little tears stung my eyes. It's amazing how much truth can be spoken/shown/felt in a movie...an animated movie, nonetheless!

By the way, I sincerely love both How to Train Your Dragon movies. After thinking very seriously and honestly about them, it's safe to say that they are two of my favorite movies. I admire the depth of their scripts, but their incredible flying sequences have even more to do with my love for them. Oh, how I hope we can fly in heaven! :)

So, what does one do when someone gestures to all of them in a non-pleasing way? How does one handle the feelings of not fitting-in, not being appreciated, not matching whatever social situation they find themselves in? Yes, it's a mighty lonely feeling when I've known that others thought of me much like Stoic thought of his son, Hiccup. I'm guessing other people have felt this way too. Thus, below are some coping mechanisms that have helped me through my Hiccup moments.

*But before I continue, I highly recommend following President Gordon B. Hinckley's advice when it comes to relationships (emphasis added), "While you should be friendly with all people, select with great care those whom you wish to have close to you." (If you have time, please read President Hinckley's entire talk, "A Prophet's Counsel and Prayer for Youth"—you won't regret it!) He's absolutely right because, sadly, there are people who would wish us harm. We must be careful and protect ourselves.

Okay, now we may resume with my bullet points—assuming, of course, none of the people we're dealing with are trying to harm us!
  • Internalize that sometimes people are simply clueless. They truly might not understand that their words or actions are making others feel badly.
  • Acknowledge the fact that everyone is different. No one has the same set of fingerprints or soulprints. We are meant to be different. (I thought I invented the word soulprints, but then I Googled it and found that I'm not as original as I thought. Hmph. Regardless, I love it!) 
  • No matter how deep our desire is to have close connections with others, sometimes we just won't mesh with everyone. Hi! It's also impossible for our souls to become intertwined with everyone we meet, nor would we want that!
  • Just like we might not appreciate every personality trait in others, the same applies to us. We need to allow others to feel their feelings, even when their feelings might not be so happy towards us.
  • We should optimistically own our high hopes that a relationship/friendship will take off, but it's smart to keep a "small box" of realistic expectations in the back of our souls. Then, if the relationship doesn't take off like we hoped, we won't be devastated.
  • It's pretty easy to figure out if we're clicking with others, or not. When we come to the (sometimes sad) realization that they aren't appreciating what our souls have to offer—and we've truly given our very best efforts to link souls with them—it's okay to move along to the next relationship.
  • We needn't feel like failures if we aren't beautifully harmonizing with others, for there are plenty of people to sing with! We just need to keep auditioning! ;)
  • We need to stay strong in our personalities, for there is only one of each of us and there will only ever be one of us!
  • Each of us is truly important, even though we might not be important to everyone we meet. Thus, we must cherish those people we are important to. They are the ones we should focus our positive energy on; negative energy doesn't get us anywhere. We should not spend any time in negativeland. (Yes, I made up that word!)
  • Dwelling on people who don't get us is a waste of time. That said, if there's something we can learn from others that will improve ourselves, we should humbly and truthfully analyze their criticism. If appropriate, we can implement what we've learned from their critique and become even better! :)
  • Discovering splendid connections with others is sometimes just a matter of diligent seeking. Only we can determine how patiently we'll endure our search. :)
What it all comes down to is this: life is life. Everyone has happy and sad days. Sometimes we'll feel above the tippiest-top of the world, but other times we'll feel like we're alone in a pit, and no one is willing to lend us a friendly hand. Complete, honest acceptance of those facts will help us push through the hard times. For as we learned from Gary Ceran, we can take comfort in the fact that every problem will ultimately end.

I love this quote by Fred Rogers, "The greatest gift you ever give is your honest self." Yes, if we continually give our honest selves to others, we can find those wonderful souls who will gesture to all of us with appreciation, delight, and true affection!

P.S. If I could, I would fly at lightning speed on a brilliant satin-white dragon with shimmering yellow wings and electric blue eyes! :)

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